Honest Beauty Pageant Responses
Beauty pageants were always an interesting affair, even before the Miss Bangladesh contest propelled them to national attention. However, beauty pageants internationally were always a source of wholesome entertainment. The plastic friendships, bedazzled ball gowns, and skillfully choreographed dance numbers made for good reality entertainment.
The question answer segment is an especially amusing round since the judges always fire truly random questions to throw the unsuspecting contestants off balance. Nervous girls attempting questions way beyond their understanding, judges with curiously high expectations and a hungry audience waiting to jump at the contestants the moment they slip up are all regular features. Safe, politically correct answers are naturally always the contestants' go-to but here's a look at how completely honest responses would fare to commonly asked questions.
1. TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT NO ONE ELSE KNOWS?
"You see I am not here voluntarily. My mom is sitting somewhere backstage ready to lash out the moment I mess up. She's living her unfulfilled dreams through me. If I don't win, she will stop talking to me for a very long time." *flashes nervous smile*
2. IF YOU WERE A COLOR, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE AND WHY?
"Um I guess I would be brown? Oh nope, that's not what you mean. Let's see, I would perhaps be yellow because I want to be a ray of sunshine in everyone's lives."
3. IF LIFE IS A ROLLERCOASTER ARE YOU ON THE HIGH OR ON THE LOW RIGHT NOW?
"Right now the cart I'm in just let go from the highest peak and I am coming crashing down violently. I will hit rock bottom if I am not able to answer an absurd question in a sparkly gown smelling like hairspray that too on live TV."
4. IF YOU COULD PERFORM IN A CIRCUS, WHAT WOULD YOUR ACT BE AND WHY?
"Am I participating in anything less than a circus right now? I just strutted around in abnormally sized shoes to fake my height, I'm dressed in sequins and glitter, and I just did a ventriloquist act as part of my talent portion. Tell me which part of that didn't remind you of a circus?"
5. IF YOU WERE A FRUIT, WHAT FRUIT WOULD YOU BE AND WHY?
"I would be a pineapple because I'm intimidating on the outside but really quite mushy on the inside. The spikes are my defense mechanism."
6. IF YOU WERE THE JUDGE, WHAT QUESTION WOULD YOU ASK THE CONTESTANTS AND WHY?
"Ah! So you're getting me to do your work without doing your own work. Genius! Must remember to use this strategy when I need it elsewhere."
7. DEFINE ENDLESS LOVE.
"Endless love is allowing a person to live their own dreams and not imposing one's own dreams on them. Every person has their own ambitions and preferences." *hopes mom backstage gets the message*
Mrittika Anan Rahman is a daydreamer trying hard not to run into things while walking. Find her at anan_rahman7@yahoo.com