Published on 12:00 AM, January 24, 2019

A guide to Google for the Yahoos

Ah, Google Inc. The multination tech-corporation that is so popular that a large number of people don't even know of its parent company, Alphabet Inc.

Google has made searching for things on the surface web as easy as typing in the thing we want to look up on the internet. From forums, websites, art, dates, locations to literally anything you can think of, you can search them all up and have your desired content presented to you on its first page (Admit it, nobody checks after the first page).

Yet for some strange reason, people in this day and age are unaware of the basics of using a simple search engine of the likes of Google.

So I'll mention a few of them here. Here we go:

DEFAULT SEARCH ENGINE

Although other search engines do exist, almost everyone would agree that Google is the most effective and easy-to-use search engine of them all. In order to do that with ease, set your default search engine to 'Google' by going to your browser settings and switching your default browser to Google. It should be easy enough because this option is usually available under 'Browser' or 'Default Search Engine' section of all internet browsers' settings.

YOUR SEARCHES

Keep your searches coherent and as close to your subject matter as possible for optimal results. Remember, Google is meant to find things for you available on the internet, and the internet only. Don't search "Where is my girlfriend?!1?!" and expect to have results that you desire. Not only do you make a fool out of yourself, but you also add a foolish search suggestion on Google that will infuriate other users of the search engine.

FACT FINDING

The amount of information you can gather from a Google search is staggering. You can get hundreds of thousands of different types of information for something you may search up. However, it is necessary for you to use common sense when picking the link you wish to learn from or use. Try to lean more towards more reliable sources and avoid links with meta-descriptions like "Studies have found that reading a book can lead to lung cancer".

SHOPPING

Again, like the previous topic, try to follow links that lead to reliable and trustworthy shopping sites. These are sites where you will be sharing your personal financial information. So beware of fishy sites like "youbuywesteal.com".

PATIENCE

Didn't find a search result you were intending to get? Tired of pointless search results that you didn't want, or no results coming up at all? Do you feel like hurling profanities at your screen? Well don't, because your screen won't understand any of your posh vocabulary. The reason why you didn't get your intended search is either because you didn't use relevant keywords, your search isn't legal, or because your search query result doesn't belong in the surface web. To solve this, clarify your keywords or even, this is a last resort mind you, scroll down and go to the second page of results. It is unthinkable but it could help.

Well, that's enough of the basic etiquettes yours truly could cover to help you have a nice grasp of how to Google your problems for solutions. If you need to know more, you can always Google it.

 

Aka is a tiny little bleep on the world's radar, and he finds peace in knowing it. Ruin his peace by poking him on akaaraf@hotmail.com