IMS – the Male PMS

Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS) – that moment when testosterone is out of whack in a male and he turns into a rather sniveling version of Matt Damon feeling all the 'feels'. 

If you are a male and you find yourself being peevish at everything, there is a chance the tetchiness growing inside you is inversely proportional to decreasing testosterone level. This can be triggered by stress and unhealthy habits. So after all these hard years of being accused of PMSing whenever we throw a fit, the joke's finally on you, mate. 

Even though you don't suffer from any sort of bloating or soreness like PMS, I think it's great because it could be the next one-liner in sitcoms. Furthermore, it gives women a tinge of satisfaction to know that we are not the only victims of Hormonezilla raging inside our blood vessels. Unless you decide to invigorate your minds and control the monster nagging inside you, it is like a version 2.0 of PMS without the sudden craving for chocolate ice cream and the need to cry buckets after watching a random reality show.  Dilemmas will start pouring into your life; it will feel like solving a trivia challenge written entirely in Chinese. You'll stare at yourself in the mirror and say, "Cancel my subscription. I'm over your issues." 

Welcome to Hormoneville. The first thing you might want to do is save your brownie points by going with the flow. It is not going to be stable like your ultra-super fast gaming PC, nor is it going to be unpredictable like hurricane Katrina, but it will be a perfect concoction of both. It is appreciative that you are willing to feel the bona fide PMS that transforms us into screaming banshees. We could totally relate to each other and eat ice cream while watching depressing movies on the couch. Or we could collect four leaf clovers and wait for luck to hit us like Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball.

IMS can happen anytime, unlike PMS which only dictates 10 percent of the calendar. Testosterone levels tend to drop as the day goes on, hence it may not entirely be your fault why, at the end of a day, you feel like as if someone has spat at you on the face. Bad diets crammed with junk food that only soothe your taste buds but turn into atom bombs once it is inside your gut, can also be the reason behind why you are going through Prince Hamlet mode. Quick, grab a pen and paper and you could produce a literary masterpiece. Stop blaming your heart for wounding you; you know now why you've been feeling the blues without any valid reason.

So there you go mates, now you have a license to over-exaggerate about issues, but still be aware when you're around a PMSing woman, because she can create havoc bigger than the distance Ryan Lochte has swam in his entire life.

Zarin Rayhana is a self-aggrandizing ambivert who ponders over philosophical epiphanies during rainy evenings and waits for her crush to jump straight out of her favorite novel. Treat her with novel suggestions at ericaavianazarin@gmail.com