Better jobs for superheroes

There are two kinds of people in the world — firstly, people who have thought about themselves having superpowers and secondly, people who probably have a life outside their imaginations. But have we ever thought about superheroes struggling to fit into the norm with their, often less than convincing, side occupations structured to help them blend in with the real world? Of course not. We only think about ourselves. On assessing a few superhero day jobs, I came to the conclusion of how dumb their choices were in several instances. The following is therefore a list of alternative career paths that our inspiring heroes could adopt in order to achieve a more sensible lifestyle both in terms of job satisfaction and a more secured identity-

The Flash: Being faster than the speed of light, he could use his gifted abilities to deliver us our much-awaited food orders by working for food delivery agencies, thereby saving us from our hunger pangs one delivery at a time. Moreover, being his chirpy extroverted Barry Allen self, he could just as easily ensure customer satisfaction while fulfilling his daily need of social interactions in an efficient manner. With his suit doing most of the hiding for him, unlike most other superhero suits (*coughs* Superman *coughs*), protecting his identity wouldn't be much of a problem and so would not pose as a barrier in adopting this job. 

Superman: For the man of steel himself, the most fitting job would most likely be that of a private investigator. Safe to say, this job has the 'low profile' thing in check, or atleast more than a newspaper reporter position ever would. With his x-ray vision and superhearing abilities, he could thrive at this promising occupation hiding behind the safe conformities of his PI van. Moreover, with his less than convincing disguise as an ordinary news reporter with overcompensating glasses, this job would actually give him a better shot at keeping himself away from the public eye. 

Spiderman: I could never wrap my head around why exactly he would choose a career in photography, all the while dealing with pictures of himself, than pursue a prospective career as a chemist. Moving past all that, if a boring job is what he wants to avoid, he can much as easily become a professional gamer. With perfect hand-eye coordination and applaudable reflexes, he could just as easily flourish in this profession all the while having a reason to be in his room for hours, while actually being out fighting crime, without anyone suspecting.

Hulk: Hulk as a yoga instructor, although at first glance posing as quite the unlikely combination, would actually work out. This would not only allow him to make use of his flexibility but rather aid in his much needed anger management orientation. This 'body and mind' healing occupation would be quite the fit, enabling him to channel his inner calm conscience in the process. While helping others with the betterment of their physiological being, he will successfully have mastered the art of controlling his own emotions, therby learning to control his transformations more fluently and with more ease. 

Veronica Gomes is a devout Coldplayer and Sherlockian who is convinced her dog has secret pet parties at her place when she's not around. Email her at gomesveronica1997@gmail.com