Being Unemotional

I feel that being an unemotional woman is like being a sensitive man - people just can't deal with it. Of course, I can't be certain about what it's like being an emotional man, but in my experience, people put in a lot of effort to point out that it's not "normal" and it acts as fodder for a lot of ridicule. 

I'm often told that I am different from others of my gender, with multiple reasons cited for the claim, but one most frequently mentioned is that I don't react/express my emotions like "other women" do. I can live with that. Emotions have been put into gendered boxes like most things in the world. The strange and problematic part for me is that being unemotional is often equated with a) not having any emotions and therefore an inability to feel hurt, 

anger or joy and b) being a dude. 

I'll start with my first issue. When you're taken to be someone who has, as some of my friends put it, "no sh*t to give", people put you on a pedestal and treat you as a superhuman who feels nothing. While that can be both amusing and flattering at times, it's important to remind people that it's not humanly possible to not feel anything at all emotionally. What is simply a case of being really bad at expressing emotions gets turned into something that is joked about for providing comic relief and revered as "strength". The latter is somehow then equated with "manning up" and then you're a "dude" for life. You've grown a pair simply because you didn't burst into tears when things went south. The standards are really quite low. 

I suppose being unemotional has its benefits. I don't manage to properly panic before exams or when I'm met with an issue that needs to be resolved quickly. I panic in my dreams later that night. I don't easily get caught up in emotional drama. I don't lose my cool when I get into accidents; I'll probably feel the pain about an hour later. There are sticky situations once every so often. When there are tragedies in the family or in the life of someone I know, my apparent stoic nature looks very visibly out of place. My stories usually provide very solid entertainment to those around me, before I get equated with problems "a" and "b". 

It's actually all great till people stop validating your emotions because you have a reputation for having none and when you get bro-zoned for life because guys don't feel 

like you need them.

Then it kind of sucks.