Awkward Situations and How to Respond to Them
Life is dark and full of terrors. Sometimes terror contorts into the shape of an awkward situation and even the most nihilist person can't help but feel awkward when the situation calls for it.
Mistakenly going to a different grade on your first day at a new school
Been there, done that. Thankfully, the effect of this one only lasts a day but even so make sure you realise your name has not been called while checking attendance before the day is over.
Being stuck in the lift with your shirtless neighbour who is putting on a shirt
Don't look. I warn you. No eye contact. This may be the time to try out your new Invisibility Cloak. Or you can abort the mission and get off the elevator in the next floor.
Crashing your crush's date with their new significant other
Start digging your grave. Also, bro zone your crush. Bro zone his/her partner. Walk out and cry yourself to sleep.
When a stranger auntie starts showing you her son's photos explaining why he is the perfect patro
This has happened to my best friend quite a few times since she is tall and has the much coveted forsha skin. She usually responds with "Bhai thamen, ami class 9 e" and makes a run for it.
Going to an office party and eating at the buffet, only to be told by your boss that it's for another party
Regurgitate those spring rolls, no?
Accidentally addressing an official person as "mama" instead of "ma'am" in an email
When you are a Bangladeshi, everyone is a mama. Or a mumma. You might want to send a follow up mail apologising over this fact.
When your dad scrutinizes your friend of the opposite gender
Lower into the grave you dug earlier and never return.
Repeating the same thing over and over again in a speech until you give up and walk out
Well what are you waiting for? You have already walked out of it.
When you are eating out with a friend and a parent walks in
Contemplate for several long seconds whether to greet them with a salam or not because some say you don't do it while eating. Make some uncomfortable small talk and proceed to mechanically playing with your spoon. Hope against hope that they don't linger for long.
Accidentally calling someone on social media and forgetting to apologise. They ask if you miss them that much
Truths are always the hardest. It hurts people and breaks hearts. But undeniably, the truth shall set you free.
Your entire teenage years
Get rid of all the evidences duh. May God bless your poor soul.
Mashiyat Nayeem is a little squirrel who keeps looking for nuts while eating out with her friends. Send her your spare nuts: mashiyat.nayeem@gmail.com