Aftermath of a Bad Haircut
Haircuts are tricky. They can either make you look like you walked straight out of the cover of Vogue's latest issue or give you a minor heart attack every time you accidentally turn your phone's front camera on. In this article, let's focus on the phases one usually goes through after a haircut doesn't go as planned.
As soon as your hairdresser is done with the snipping, they will proceed to cover up any mistakes they made and make your hair look somewhat presentable with the help of a curler and a hair dryer. Once your hair has been, in their words, 'set' and your self-admiration has soared to a peak, you will go on to post your obligatory post-haircut selfie on every social media and eagerly wait for your friends to compliment your new hairstyle.
The people who comment on your photo can be categorised into three groups. The first group of people will flood the comments section with heart emoticons, applauding your decision of getting this particular haircut. They may even ask which salon you got it from and you can never really tell if they are just looking out for themselves.
The second group of people are going to question if you actually got a haircut, because apparently, you look the same as you did the last time they saw you, which was five years ago. Don't bother trying to convince them that you did get a haircut; you'll fail miserably.
This leaves us with the third group of people who tend to have multiple seizures every time they hear the word 'haircut,' even if it's just a two inch trim. They'll condemn you for the violation of something as sacred as your hair so much at one point, you will wonder if it's actually your hair they are talking about or their own.
Your post haircut euphoria will allow you to brush off their snide remarks but this feeling will last as long as you don't wash your hair, which is when your hairdresser's hatred towards you will slowly start revealing itself. You will dread the sight of your own reflection and come to the realization that this is definitely not the haircut you asked for. In fact, you despise it! You will swear an oath to never leave your room again and make a desperate attempt to cover your eyes with the bangs you never wanted so that you yourself are spared from the trauma of seeing your own face.
However, your time in hiding will soon come to an end and you'll step into your next phase, which is when you will pretend you couldn't possibly be any more satisfied with your haircut, even though you are still not in good terms with your reflection. You will flaunt it to every person you come across so aggressively it will force them to agree with you and boost your confidence. You will put on a brave face and act like all the unwanted attention you are getting does not bother you because their opinions do not matter.
Then one fine morning, you'll realise that they really don't. You will genuinely acquire a certain satisfaction with your haircut or you will get used to it and it won't bother you anymore. This will be your last phase after a bad haircut. Until you get another one.
Shreyosi Endow is a tea addict who likes to read poetry and is obsessed with plants. Send her a mail at endow1211s@gmail.com