6 types of soon-to-be graduates
As final year inevitably rolls to a close, we seniors find ourselves torn between two worlds. In an effort to get our lives together before we officially begin adulting, we often end up adopting unintentional personas - some of which tend to be outright kooky, to say the least! Quirky classmates make for a great read, and thus, I give you the 6 types of soon-to-be-graduates.
Can you guess which one I am?
THE RELENTLESS NETWORKER
I've never been adept at the art of social stardom like a lot of my peers seem to be. Small talk isn't my forte and the thought of dragging on conversations for the sake of "networking" sounds like a chore. And then there's that guy, whose every move is a calculated attempt to infiltrate senior circles. The Networker knows everybody - but nobody really knows him or her. This person roams the corridors, armed with a dimple-y grin, ready to assault unassuming seniors with "Assalamualaikum, bhaiyya/apu!" before they can think to make a run for it. Sure, they've always been this way, but when last-semester-induced anxiety kicks in, they're unstoppable.
THE REFORMED LAZY GENIUS
The Lazy Genius rarely makes an appearance, and still manages to bag a higher GPA each semester than my CGPA. I'll only ever see the Lazy Genius during final presentations, ready to hijack my 5-minute slot with a killer monologue to make up for lost time. But when the last semester rolls around, they shed their skin of indifference and adopt a newer outlook on life. Whether it's to steer clear of that unforgiving faculty or to make the most of their last semester, I'll never know. The Reformed Lazy Genius shows up to every class now, utilizing every opportunity to participate while occasionally whispering to their friends "Dekhsish? Ami bhalo chhele hoye gesi".
THE BUDDING ENTREPRENEUR
This person is on the lookout for the next big entrepreneurial venture. They'll often strike up conversations with anybody who'll listen about the latest million-dollar idea they've had. Every conversation is an opportunity to garner validation that they're onto something, or a pitch to attract potential investors and recruits. The Budding entrepreneur owns a struggling marketing firm on the side, and they spend copious time atthe nearest tong, fleshing out app ideas.
THE LONE NERD WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER LONE NERD
Everyone has crossed paths with the Lone Nerd at least once in their life. You know, the person with a designated seat in the front row, who cuts off a faculty mid-lecture even before they take questions? They've even been known to panic-email a faculty the night before a final exam, asking for solutions to what your batch-mates suspected was the leaked question paper; I refuse to believe I'm the only one who's experienced this. Oh, you ask what's more infuriating than the Lone Nerd? When, in the final year, he falls in love with the other Lone Nerd in class forming a malevolent duo that rivals the twins from The Shining. The devil's double's relationship eternally steeped in drama, and nothing's worse than being stuck in the crosshairs during group projects (believe me, I know). They often decide not to speak to each other ever again, forcing you to become the reluctant messenger for the sake of that coveted A grade. They fight, they make up, they fight, they make up...you get the picture.
THE PARANOID PLANNER
The Paranoid Planner has their entire life planned out, making me question whether I'm doing enough to help my future. This person is the eternal overachiever, giving most more self-esteem issues than they voluntarily thrust upon themselves. Come final year, they're on a red-bull-fueled rollercoaster ride. They're often headed off to jobs, internships, business competitions, debate tournaments...leaving you gawking in the whirlpool of dust they left behind in a hasty departure. The Paranoid Planner is also a master of disguise, often giving cryptic responses such as "Oh, I have plans" or "Oh, just stuff..." when anybody asks where they're rushing off to. Someone ought to tell them that being ambitious and obnoxious aren't mutually inclusive. Any volunteers?
THE PERPETUAL PROCRASTINATOR
As final year draws to a close, there are some individuals who remain, virtually, the same. They've spent the better half of their undergrad life not doing much of anything. They may not commit to much but social media sure has their attention. They regularly post statuses about how demotivated they are, how bleak their future looks and how oh so doomed they are. During final year, the frequency of said statuses reaches an all-time high forcing you to unfollow them. The thing is, I get it - most of us are pretty confused about our future too. But do you really have to draw attention to that fact all the time? As Taylor Swift repeatedly proclaims, please exclude me from this narrative.