Six Hours of Wiz Khalifa
Did you ever get a creeping urge to listen to six hours of this guy? Me too and I am genuinely interested in the effects Cameron Jibril Thomaz's music will have on my brain. Throughout the next six hours I will monitor myself and write about my state of being as each hour goes by. I am optimistic of Mr Wiz's compositions and am hoping that this will be a pleasant experience.
Hour 1:
I've put all the Wiz Khalifa albums on my phone. I start the playlist and am immediately blasted by "These dudes better stay in their lanes and keep their brains on the right track." The name of the song is "Stay in Ur Lane," I think he's rapping about road safety. My preconceived perceptions were wrong.
Hour 2:
This guy is really into that one particular leaf people use for recreational purposes. I'm not talking about paan. In "Work Hard Play Hard," he boasts about his finances and how he spends it on partying but at the same time emphasises the importance of working hard. Is he deliberately trying to confuse me? Although, it's quite mesmerising…
Hour 3:
My mother entered my room and called me to dinner. While Wiz's words were echoing in my head, the only thought running in my mind was: why even bother? A few carbohydrates, some proteins and fibres, what will they accomplish? Hunger will set in again, why should I follow this ritual of gluttony? I continue lying on the bed while I watch my mother scowling at me saying things which were muted by Khalifa's ideologies.
Hour 4:
It's 10 p.m., the only light entering my room is that of Mother Nature. I get up and go to the balcony. Wiz is still talking to me, I cannot ignore him, it's like he's right beside me using the recreational leaf. I look up to the stars but the clouds have hidden them all. Not Wiz's phat clouds, actual clouds. "Gotta Be a Star" starts playing. I freeze up. He's trying to tell me something. Be a star? Chase my dreams? NO. I know what he's trying to say. The sky is crystal clear now and so is my mind.
Hour 5:
A star is just a big ball of fire. It has no purpose, no aspirations, it just rotates in one place and goes with the flow. It will eventually grow old and burst into a supernova. Even its final cry will have negligible effect on the universe. The observable universe is estimated to have one billion trillion stars, the world population is seven billion. I am the star that has no purpose, I am insignificant, so let me rotate till my demise.
Hour 6:
All this time, I was worrying about so many things: my future, my education. Wiz has answered them all. So what if I flunk, so what if I fail, I'm just having fun. I've painted my room in black and yellow with my childhood crayons, to think I aspired to be an artist at one time. I'm officially a part of dem boyz who are useless cogs in a meaningless world.
Shoaib Ahmed Sayam doesn't need coffee because he stays up all night anyway, doing the things he should be doing during the day. Send him John Cena memes at facebook.com/ooribabamama