A guide to becoming a ludo pro
Ludo is our thing, hands down. You can binge on kathal, have a garden pond full of water lilies or even own an aviary full of doyel pakhis but in my opinion, you aren't Bangladeshi 'til you've played ludo. However, sometimes due to plain bad luck, while we have played ludo we end up being mediocre or just downright bad at it. Thankfully, you have a clearly experienced ludo player like me to run you through some tips on how to max your ludo skills, or at least polish it to a good degree.
1. SCREECHING:
In my experience, ludo matches are filled with screeching. This is a surefire way of causing confusion in the game and may allow you to prep for the next few tips I'm about to reveal to you. However, I would recommend refraining from using this tactic if you're the only one doing it, 'cause then it becomes a surefire way of getting you a spot in the loony bin instead.
On a side note, it's also a good practice session for aspiring extreme metal vocalists.
2. CHEATING:
It's time for you to do the thing that makes ludo fun in the first place: cheating. However, it's also what makes ludo so dangerous and may result in trust issues for everyone. This is the most complicated part of the game, and I'd like to run you through a few scenarios.
Scenario A: You have screeched. Assuming step one has worked out fine, everyone should currently be screeching too to match you. This is the perfect time to move enemy pieces back, move your pieces forward and, if the screeching is high pitched enough to result in shattering glass, altogether move a piece off of the board while everyone is distracted.
Scenario B: You haven't screeched and neither has anyone else. This is a much more complicated scenario since no one is acting like a headless chicken. At this point, it is no longer a game of ludo, but of life and death (with plenty of trust issues). Tread carefully and time your moves JUST right. Discreetly move your pieces between squares; a good technique is to leave it on the line, so that you can pretend it was on the next square. You could even move enemy pieces back, although that's significantly harder because, depending on the skill level of your opponent, they might actually keep track of everything that is happening. If your skill level is completely OP, then you might perfectly land the die on a piece to move it a bit forward, or backwards if it's an enemy piece.
Scenario C: This scenario is a result of A or B going wrong i.e. you got caught cheating. Simply put, this scenario is the blame game; just blame someone else for cheating somehow and you're good to go.
If you've followed these tips successfully, then congrats: you are literally a gutibaaj now.
3. REVENGE:
In ludo, sadly, it is a must to watch your pieces being eaten and sent back into the box. You have two options in this terrible scenario: mourn, or get revenge. That, or you could mourn first and then take your revenge right afterwards. In any case, revenge moves are a necessary thing if you want to be a seasoned ludo player. If someone eats your piece, you'd better ready every other free piece on the board to completely annihilate that sick *insert appropriate words*.
4. FALSE CONTEMPLATION:
This occurs when a piece is eaten. If the situation is confusing enough to everyone, you can strike up a discussion as to whether the chip has actually been eaten or not. Say, for example, you pretend that the piece that ate you was actually one square behind the square it actually started from, so instead of falling on your chip, it actually falls right behind. It might not seem like much, but it actually works sometimes. I'm not even kidding about this one, I've seen it happen first-hand.
5. NEWBIE DEALINGS:
You're playing a game of ludo and one of the other players is a newbie. This is your chance to take them under your wing and not only convince them from going after your chips, but going after someone else's chips instead. Remember: keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
6. RAGE QUIT:
Seriously, the title says it all. Flip and flip off the board. Ain't nobody got time for that. Although I advise against this because it's very annoying.
The road to becoming a seasoned ludo player is not an easy one, but with enough effort, I promise, you will get there especially if you follow this top-class, ahead-of-the-game, extraordinary guide. Unless you're playing Ludo Star.