Alternative Uses of Your University Degree
If you're a recent college graduate or just any person with a degree, you may have realised that all those sleepless nights you spent crying over your assignments mean nothing to your employer. Because unfortunately a degree does not guarantee a job these days (unless you're from IBA, because then you'll have jobs lined up at your feet before you even graduate). I understand that it's a cruel world and apart from the time and tears, there's also the gazillions you spent on earning that degree. So don't let it be just a piece of paper sitting on your showcase. Here are some other ways you could get your money's worth out of that degree:
Use it as a shield
You don't need Captain America's shield to protect you when the aliens attack if you have two master's degrees sitting at home. For added effect, blow the dust collecting on your degrees over your attacker's eyes to obscure their field of vision.
Use it as a tray
Do you need serving trays? Baking trays? Not to worry. No further money will be spent on buying trays from now on, courtesy of degree trays.
Use it as a pillow
Only downside is that it cannot absorb the tears that you will inevitably be shedding crying over your unemployed state.
Use it as a phone
Can't afford to buy a phone? The benefit of using degree phone is that bankers cannot reach you asking you to pay your student loans. In fact, no one can reach you. This means no more calls from nosy aunties asking you whether you have a job yet.
Can be used for entertainment
Can't afford a television? Watch degree television. It has all your favourite shows such as "I wasted all my money on this piece of paper" and "I still don't have a job".
No internet? No problem. Use your degree as a router and type the password "Give me back my last 4 years".
Use it as a napkin
Use it to dry your tears. Ran out of toilet paper? No, you didn't!
Apart from these, there are numerous other uses your degree can be put to. It works as a really great umbrella, a hat (use strings to attach it to your head), a bookmark, a coaster, a lid for cups, and can even be used as a blanket.
Don't let it just hang on your wall and gather dust.
Tasnim Odrika flies around Dhaka city on her magic carpet with her best friend who's a Beluga Whale named Manik. At night, they fight crime in the sewers. Support them tonight at your nearby drain-hole.