This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

Growth comes at a price and you can't afford it.



TAURUS

In exactly 493 seconds, things will be better or worse.



GEMINI

Brother, look behind you and walk sideways for that is the way to where you want to be. 



CANCER

Met a good man last night, was it you?



LEO

Oval shaped offices and oak wood desks, sprinkled orange zest.



VIRGO

Night falls over and trips on dawn, where is the sun?!



LIBRA

Elon Musk has a crazy idea and he needs you.



SCORPIO

Your hands are dirty and your soap is slow. What do? 



SAGITTARIUS

Picture yourself in a coat with a shiver.



CAPRICORN

Leave me today but if you come running back, I'll still be here because you are awesome. 



AQUARIUS

Equations are like genders, equal on each side. 



PISCES

So you think you can prance? Not in those heels.