This Week's Horrorscope

ARIES

If you are a comms manager, are you small in some way?



TAURUS

Check your cellphone, now it's gone! 



GEMINI

Have you listened to Big Enough yet? Please do.



CANCER

I'm not really sure how memes started existing.



LEO

Don't farm all the time in *insert MOBA game of choice here*



VIRGO

Do you have headphones? Why not elbow-phones?



LIBRA

Are you sick and tired? Why not be just tired?



SCORPIO

Time to change the panel of your LED TV.



SAGITTARIUS

Party hats make good jhaalmuri containers.



CAPRICORN

Do NOT build a Lego House. Build a Lego Death Star.



AQUARIUS

Your phone case will be made out of cheese.



PISCES

Time to bring out the old 8-ball.