THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE

Aries

If you jump too much, you won't be able to breathe.

Taurus

Do not charge in to a fight without consulting a Murloc first. 

Gemini

Just get yourself some coffee. 

Cancer

Use nasal drops sparingly please.

Leo

I am not too sure about that hotdog costume.

Virgo

Try to score a goal like Mandzukic, fail, cry. 

Libra

Time to tilt your head and dance to K-Pop. 

Scorpio

Do NOT go near that bull. Don't.  

Sagittarius

If you're stuck in traffic during this month, consider eating your tyre.  

Capricorn

Make a house of cards and live in it. 

Aquarius

You need to get a cycle. Make it ride you. 

Pisces

Your pockets are for keeping your tears in.