THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE

Aries

Find the true meaning of the phrase "Enter the Dragon".​

Taurus

Vote for Rush Hour 3 as the best movie in the last 100 years.​

Gemini

Share homemade cookies with thy neighbours.​

Cancer

Go on a survey and list every item of the brand "Sport".​

Leo

This week will be especially good to you. Your mother's returning from vacation.​

Virgo

What makes your fingers stick more – oil or glue? Go figure.​

Libra

There's no place like Rome. There's no place like Rome.​

Scorpio

Send your CV to hubbahubba@live.com. A great future awaits.​

Sagittarius

If your dad asked you to get lost, he probably meant it.​

Capricorn

Every newspaper office employs a midget with a goatee. Are you one?​

Aquarius

Don't try this at home.​

Pisces

Watermelons are berries. Do not lose hope.​