THIS WEEK'S HORRORSCOPE

ARIES

Pen pineapple apple- don't. 

TAURUS

Who do you think wins? AMD or NVIDIA? 

GEMINI

Good luck getting out of bed in this weather.  

CANCER

I feel like the dust in Dhaka city has increased. Why? 

LEO

Would you know the answer to that? 

VIRGO

How about you? 

LIBRA

There must be some logical explanation behind this.

SCORPIO

A jug can serve just as well as a glass.

SAGITTARIUS

I'm not saying you should rice your Probox. But you should rice it.

CAPRICORN

Unless you're a Starlet owner. 

AQUARIUS

I don't think you should try using a loop pedal. 

PISCES

I know you're a fan of chicken but you're taking it too far.