How to be #relatable in 2017

Welcome to 2017, a time when everyone is so similar to everyone else that it's a wonder why none of us have multiple soulmates already. Once shunned for bringing strangers together, social media has become the breeding ground for the word "relatable" and thus brings unknown as well as known people together.

As the influx of one of the most iconic pop culture element – that is memes – continues, so does the human ability to relate. But how exactly can you be #relatable? Outlined below is a set of comprehensive tips that will shape you up in the generic mould of a "normal" contemporary youth, guaranteed to get you friends from far and wide. 

Make pizza the unconditional love of your life

It does not matter whether you have a thing for fast food or not, whether you're a health freak or not, whether you are in a relationship or not. Pizza must always top your list. Always. Occasionally coffee should come first when the situation calls for it but you must be aware of the beauty that is the cheesy circular dough topped with all kinds of meaty goodness. Feeling down? Crave pizza. Feeling ecstatic? Crave Pizza. Crave it 24/7. Never question its calories. However, you ought to never join the pineapple club. Join the pineapple hate club where you collectively loathe those little succulent yellow pieces on a pizza that muddle with your taste buds with their deplorable sweetness.   

Watch cat videos

Whether you are happy, sad, bored, distressed, anxious or angry, the #1 remedy to put your mind at ease is watching these cute little fluffballs (or evil conspiring clawed creatures) roll around and generally be cute (or put up a disguise to fool you into adopting one of them). Don't tell anyone you are bored. Tell them you are watching cat videos. Similarly, do not reveal your preparedness for a test and say instead that you procrastinated by watching cat videos. Laugh inside while the other person launches into a discussion about the video they watched thinking that you are both going down in the test together.  

Preach nihilism all day everyday

It seems like these days we are all walking amongst living, breathing zombies. Before you point out that it is an oxymoron, let me just tell you that everyone claims to be dead inside. How exactly can you let your soul wither away while still remaining in your body and at the same time be aware of the void inside you? Pfft, you shouldn't care about such trivial things. In fact you shouldn't care about anything at all. Life and other worldly things are mundane and devoid of meaning. Wholeheartedly accept the fact that death is inevitable and nothing is worth looking forward to because in the end we all just kick the bucket. Also, make it a point to routinely share nihilist memes as a daily reminder to people about the pointlessness of existence. You should care just that much. Just a smidge.

Dieting memes must be your mantra 

Accept the fact that everyone including yourself (your weight doesn't matter) are insecure about their body but not too insecure to stick to their diet. Basically you'll be starting over a new diet every other day because you can't resist pizza. See, another proof about pizza being the love of your insecurity inflicted life. Here's where the memes come in, depicting your constant struggle between temptation and dieting (spoiler: temptation always wins). At the end of the day, you are always back to the pavilion or you aren't leaving the pavilion at all and the most you have done is shower people's newsfeeds with some #relatable or #pointless memes and robbed them of a couple of seconds.   

Hyperbolise romantic relationships

Overly dramatising relationships are in. If you're dating, feel free to jump on this bandwagon. You must describe your significant other the way a medieval catholic priest describes Satan to all your friends when something very insignificant or petty happens. 

Procrastinate like there's always tomorrow

Whether the deadline is tomorrow or a month later, the work must always be done at the 11th hour. While you're at it, remember to chat with your friends about how there is a huge to-do list you have yet to check off when in reality you could be using that time to actually DO IT. Fail to encourage each other to get started. There's always tomorrow my friend. Pro-tip: Share the innumerable procrastination memes available in the internet across all your social media which will ease the writhing souls of fellow procrastinators. Expect a lot of "Same" in reply. 

Think of yourself as special

Aggressively try to make points about why you are unique among a sea of normies. As you relentlessly try to stand out from the crowd, you'll begin to notice that others do it too. That's what makes you relatable right? Be unique but be relatable. It sounds like a paradox, I know.

The mainstream media has set certain standards that make it increasingly difficult to stand out and funnily enough, sometimes easier to blend in. It appears as if there is a surefire formula to attain a certain persona (why do you think there are so many b a s i c ?). Conversely, relatability fuels acceptance among peers and an illusion of popularity, something that we are all consciously or unconsciously striving for.

By now we know that a relatable meme has the ability to attract people like a swarm of bees attracted to pollen. It's up to you to decide whether you want to be the queen bee or one of the hundreds of identical worker bees. P.S. This isn't a ticket to start posting Queen Beymemes, I had enough of those. 

Mashiyat Nayeem has a genuine phobia of onions and has mastered the art of scavenging for beresta in her biriyani. Learn more at mashiyat.nayeem@gmail.com