‘You-first’ policy shows country’s generosity

The recent declaration by the unhealthy minister of the country that no VIPs, VVIPs or even VVVIPs would take the much-wanted vaccines first has spread a sense of camaraderie throughout the country.

Opposition leaders, who usually parrot anti-government sentiments, applauded the minister's words, but encouraged him to take the vaccine first. "You, the current leaders of the country, should get inoculations first. Lead by example," Hafiz Mollah, president of the Cap Ar Daari Samity, said.

The unhealthy minister, however, maintained that the first dosages would be reserved for frontline workers. This has also raised another issue as no one in the country currently considers themselves 'frontliners'.

Tipu Sultan, a police officer, said he was not a front line worker. "I am a sidelines kinda guy. I stand beside the road and harass young looking people when they are out late at night. I don't need this vaccine," he said.

Fatema Begum, a nurse at the Covid-19 unit of a government hospital, also had the same thing to say. "I too am a sidelines worker. Plus, I work exclusively with Covid-19 patients, meaning I have to be immune, right? Herd immunity and all?"

The one thing that the countrymen all agree on is that it is time to stick together and make sure others, who are more at-risk get vaccinated first. No one, however, knows yet for sure who the "others" are.

"I think we should first vaccinate all the VVIPs," TV commentator Aziz Ahmed opined during a recent show. "They are the lifeblood of the economy. Without them, the wheels would stop turning and our country will grind to a halt," he said.

Others say it's best to vaccinate those who brought the vaccines to the country. The government, meanwhile, believes it's best to vaccinate the opposition party members first. "We need a healthy opposition for a functioning democracy to thrive," a government spokesperson said during a conference before the inauguration of the inoculation drive.

Contacted for his opinion (because why not), Khalid Hussain, CEO of Jomikobja, the biggest conglomerate in the country, said it would be best to vaccinate the workers first. "The poor, oh sorry, I meant workers, of the country need to be vaccinated first. They are the actual lifeblood of the economy. Without breaking their backs, we would have no economy to begin with," he said.

Then his phone started buzzing and he engaged in a prompt conversation where he told the person on the other end to get his jet ready as he was going abroad for an unrelated vaccine shot. "It's for measles. I am not just going to get a more proven vaccine shot when my countrymen are being treated like lab rats or something," he said.

For now, only eight people have been vaccinated in the entire country as thousands join together in the most socialist display this country has ever come across.  Who will be number 9? Only time will tell. Unless of course, people are forced to take the shots, which is not as out there an idea as seems now.