‘Stop trying to clothe the animals’

After news of animals going hungry amid the GENERAL HOLIDAY (ENJOY YO'SELF), citizens scrambled to ensure birds, dogs and cats had enough to ride out the storm. No insects were taken into consideration of course, because people hate insects.

In the flurry of relief activities, and the photo sessions which go along with them, some conscious citizens started packing the relief materials with a bunch of unnecessary but glamourous things.

Dogs and cats were being given cute sweaters and crows were given top hats. Another crow was also given a monocle for some reason. That was, however, acceptable because the crow actually looked very dapper.

Animal rights activists, who are always on the edge like all other rights activists, then came down hard on people being irresponsible with relief.

"They are lining animals up, giving them no space. Dogs are chasing cats, cats are chasing birds. And no one even cares about the little mongooses," Dukkhi Singh, an apparent animal rights activists because of her pro-animal Facebook posts, said.

"Also what on earth are animals going to do with soap? They do not even have access to clean, running water," she added in disgust.

While most people gave the cute stuff a pass, this was not the case for other more cosmetic additions to the relief packet.

A huge point of contention was the packaged food. No one was sure how the animals were even going to open those.

A political leader volunteered to help with proper distribution of the goods, but his offer was instantly rejected because everyone knows what politicians do with relief material.

In the meantime, an online petition has been signed by 1,000 people who have put forth what should constitute as appropriate relief packets. We have not bothered to read it though.