Social media superheroes saving us with toxic comments

Comments sections these days are like a virtual jungle gym for bullies, and it seems like everyone's monkeying around.  

Who let these keyboard attackers out of their dungeons, and why are we subjecting ourselves to their wicked ways? Why do we keep diving into the shark tank of negativity that is the comments section, or worse, getting into a virtual slap fight with a total stranger?

Well, calling all netizens! Beware of the swarm of comment crusaders taking over your social media feeds.

Here's what you need to know about people who think they are mighty defenders of honour and culture, but are actually more like the Justice League of wicked teasers -- a group of nerds with delusions of grandeur.

Beware of the swarm of comment crusaders taking over your social media feeds. Here's what you need to know about people who think they are mighty defenders of honour and culture, but are actually more like the Justice League of wicked teasers -- a group of nerds with delusions of grandeur.

The Negativity Avenger

Beware of these comment ninjas who strike from the shadows and attack without provocation. They're like a pack of wild wolves, tearing apart any unsuspecting post that crosses their path. These ruthless keyboard attackers must have skipped their iodine supplements as kids, because they're definitely lacking some essential brain fuel.

It's like they're all suffering from a serious case of online hunger -- except they aren't hungry for food, but instead they're hungry for attention.

You can spot these comment crusaders by their signature phrases, like "what a shame", "ruining our tradition" and so on. It's like they've got a script for spreading negativity, and they're sticking to it like their lives depend on it. They're on a mission to suck all the joy out of the internet, one comment at a time.

The Flasher

If you know the superhero flash, you know how super-fast he is; Flash is so fast, he could finish all his errands before you finish reading this sentence.

Unlike the "flash" beware of "Flasher" commenters on Facebook! They're the creeps who post inappropriate photos under random people's statuses. Not only is their behaviour illegal and offensive, but it can also scar you for life! So, always double-check the profiles of those friend requests or they might end up speeding their way into your DM.

The Irony Man

Irony Man is a social media vigilante who wields their power of ironic wit like a weapon. They're always on the lookout for an opportunity to pounce on a post, comment or status update and turn it into a battlefield of snarky comments and biting sarcasm.

They think they're making the world a better place with their clever quips, but in reality, they're just a big old meanie. So, beware of this hero, social media users, because their powers of wit and insults can cause unnecessary drama and hurt feelings.

The Art-snob Ivy

Unlikethe infamous Poison Ivy,the Art-snob ivy fancies herself as the saviour of art and culture on social media. She's not shy about sharing her irrelevant opinions on aesthetics. Her poisonous comments seep into every conversation like a vine. Even a simple pet photo won't escape her venomous critiques. She'll go on and on about art and culture like she's writing a thesis. Beware her toxic presence and don't let her ruin your social media garden.

In the wise words of Taylor Swift, "haters gonna hate". But that doesn't mean we have to give them the time of day. Let's not let these comment crusaders and their negative vibes rain on our social media parade.

After all, life is too short to waste on virtual drama with actual strangers.

So, let's take a cue from the Justice League and use our powers for good. Let's spread positivity and kindness, and shut down these keyboard bullies like the superheroes we are. And if all else fails, we can always hit the unfollow button and keep it moving like a boss.  Remember, in the grand scheme of things, these commenters are just small potatoes in our big bowl of social media soup. So, let's not let them ruin our appetite for connection and community. Stay classy, my fellow netizens, and keep on scrolling.

The author is an advertising professional