If parakeets could really talk

The border between Chapasthan and mighty neighbours Outnia having become the site of nefarious activities, Chapasthan Fowl Minister Aliullah Abul has said that those smuggling parakeets from across the border will be at the mercy of Outnian border patrollers.

"We wash our hands off it," Abul told reporters at his residence seven kilometres from the border.

"Weee wash…" his pet parakeet said from the corner of the fowl minister's well-appointed living room. Abul held up his hands in a gesture for the reporters to wait.

"Our handzoffit!" the parakeet finished.

The fowl minister's words came two days after three Chapasthanis were shot dead by Outnian border patrollers. It caused a minor uproar because people trespassing across the border are first supposed to be repelled by rubber bullets. The controversy was quelled when the Chapasthan government said that those crossing were parakeet smugglers. However, there has been no confirmed reports that the trio went to Outnia to smuggle parakeet.

There was one parakeet found on their person, and that, one of their relatives told this correspondent, was a pet.

"Actually, if our own character is not good, we should not blame anyone else. From now on, if anyone gets killed while trying to trespass across the border to smuggle parakeets into the country, the government will not take responsibility for their deaths," Abul said, and the parakeet echoed. Reporters scribbled. The parakeet cleared its throat.

Parakeets have become big business in Chapasthan after the government adopted a policy to train the birds and release them in metropolitan areas. It was to promote national morale and fellow feeling among citizens. Outnian parakeets have been in high demand, as it is believed they are easier to train.

Meanwhile, unconfirmed reports have quoted the pet parakeet of one of the alleged smugglers as saying, "Of course we haven't crossed the border yet, it's way over there."