Guardiola promises to cut his hair if City fail to beat Real in UCL semi
Pep Guardiola, who is popularly known for bottling Champions League campaigns, is once again dreaming again of winning it, even at the cost of his hair.
A leaked audio of one of his confidential UCL-related conversations with Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been circulating on social media, and Guardiola was heard promising that he would cut his hair and go bald permanently if he, once again, failed to beat Real Madrid.
English media and their pundits have termed Madrid's triumph over Man City last year as "a major shock" despite Madrid being the club with the highest champions league titles. A major shock shocked Guardiola again as his team drew the first leg at the Santiago Bernabeu.
However, the 1-1 tie of the first leg has inspired Guardiola to be more ruthless against Madrid this Thursday at their home ground, Etihad, which is more famous for its emptiness and surreal quiescence than UCL wins. Guardiola has reportedly urged fans to be loud and proud of their team as they are going to smash Real Madrid, echoing Wayne Rooney's sentiment.
"I am begging you to fill the emptiness of Etihad and be the eye-witnesses of sublime glory. Your responsibility is to be chaotic and my responsibility is to beat Madrid. If I fail to do that, I promise, I will cut my hair completely and go bald permanently," Guardiola said in the secret message sent via the Zlatan conversation to Man City's easily-countable fans, which was obtained by a Satireday correspondent later.
On the contrary Real Madrid fans seemed relaxed ahead of their crucial away match in England.
When asked why they were so calm and confident about their victory in the second leg, set to kick off in England days later, Tausif, a die-hard Madrid fan from Basabo, said, "Well, we don't consider it an away match. We will surely outnumber their fans in their own stadium, which eventually will make our players think that they are actually playing in our home ground."
When asked why he was so sure about their domination, he said, "Why wouldn't I be? I have more friends on my Facebook than there are Man City fans in their country."
However, ever since Guardiola's promise went public, fans, borrowed from PSG and Barcelona, started to celebrate their potential victory over Madrid. While a group of mercenary fans was planning what they would do after Manchester City's victory over Inter Milan in the final, our Satireday correspondent intruded.
When asked what was more likely to happen -- Guardiola goes bald or Man City win their first Champions League title -- Zuabair, a mercenary fan from Barcelona, said, "Bro, how can Madrid win against Man City, that too, after Guardiola's greatest ever threat?"
Another fan, Sakib, said both outcomes were equally likely and might not be mutually exclusive.
Satireday tried to contact Pep Guardiola about the validity of his viral comment, but he said "No ingles".