Published on 12:00 AM, December 03, 2022

Elon Musk to buy Apple, make E-phones

Also vows to bring Steve Jobs back

In the ultimate act of billionaire revenge, Tech Genius Elon Musk has announced that he will buy Apple, following a dream he had about the makers of the Iphone, Macbook, Ipad, Airpod taking Twitter off the App Store.

On a related and at the same time unrelated note, Musk has recently announced that if any publication does not use the title "Tech Genius" before using his full name, he would buy that publication and run it to the ground.

In his previous act of billionaire revenge, although it is unclear who he was taking revenge on and for what, Musk had bought Twitter and is currently busy running it into the ground. 

In a series of tweets, Musk announced his new plan.

"I want to make Apple great again. They stopped advertising on Twitter, which just means that Apple has lost its love of #hatespeech, if ever there was love for it."

Five minutes later, he tweeted: "I meant #freespeech. I am sure you guys will have fun with that. That's what free speech is about, unless you work at Twitter."

Many companies have stopped advertising on Twitter after the social media company lifted restrictions on Covid misinformation and ended bans on people like Steve Bannon and the leader of the Ku Klux Klan, which according to some is a racist organisation.

Two minutes later: "I am going to buy Apple, and introduce a new product – the E-phone. It will revolutionise smartphones. It will be available next year."

A follower of Tech Genius Elon Musk replied: "Next year called, said there are no E-phones."

The user was banned. On another note, Musk also recently announced that there must be two "Tech Genius" mentions in stories on him above 300 words in length.

Eight minutes later, another tweet: "Guys, how about this? I brought Trump back on Twitter. After I buy Apple, I will bring back Steve Jobs, or a digital version of him to run the show and supervise the production of E-phones and E-pads and Muskpods."

Following this, some psychics claimed that Jobs contacted them and said he would prefer to remain dead.