Tweeter-in-Chief
USA finally comes to terms with test cricket – a long, drawn out game where it may not always matter who wins: Clinton vs. Trump. . .
For one last desperate attempt after what is a two and half month of comatose from a head bang, many Americans pinch themselves, only to realise it's no dream (nightmare). The 45th President of the US is for real, as he takes his oath to never grab again while trading in his sleek executive jet for 'Hair' Force One. And no, he doesn't use 'alternative facts' about the massive attendance at his inauguration. He probably refers to the massive protests. As comedian Aziz Ansari says just a day later on NBC's Saturday Night Live (SNL) "It was a whole gender which protested". Aziz adds his concerns of what Mr. President may think seeing a brown Muslim making fun of him.
There are now two mandatory tasks every morning for the average American – check the weather forecast and check Donald Trump's tweets. The former speaks of the mercury, the latter of the mercurial.
This kicks off a barrage of all things happening in two's: The President makes two tasks mandatory for himself first thing in the morning – send his tweets AFTER watching Alec Baldwin's impersonation of the President on SNL. The White House starts to cope with the double dunk shock of contrasts – Trump against Truman and Melania against Michelle. Hillary's double pain – not winning the presidency and losing to Trump. In addition to a Press Secretary, the White House now may contemplate having a Twitter Secretary. The last two Republican administrations each have a Donald for a headache – Donald Trump and Donald Rumsfeld. Finally, Walt Disney is back with 'Donald and Mickey' (Trump and Pence) cleaning up the 'swamp'.
No wait, one more! There are two correlations between Bangladesh and Trump's USA. Bangladesh has SIM registration, USA has MUSLIM registration. Bangladesh moves up a notch in the Global Peace Index, thanks to the US slipping a notch from Trump's presidency.
And I don't speak lightly in my reference to peace. Take the instance with the Middle East. The US Embassy is moving from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. The new Pentagon boss is the hard liner James Mattis nicknamed Mad Dog and the Middle East reads from the right to the left where 'Mad Dog', read right to left, is 'God Dam'…
On the home front as the Tweeter-in-Chief Donald Trump and the role 'model' Third Lady Melania Trump move into the White House, there is the first breach in a pre-campaign promise. It's the promise of the anti-Trump voter. There is no mass exodus of anti-Trump Americans into Canada. Perhaps their exploratory trips discouraged many after seeing occupied Toronto, aka, Begum Para. Not to mention their learning of the stringent immigration laws of that country.
There is a breach in the pro-Trump voter camp too as many throng to the inauguration while opting to buy cheaper 'Make America Great Again' caps made in China.
All said and done, US politics has been radicalised by that of the Third World. With Donald, in many ways as comical as the comic character Donald Duck, we wait and see. What will be his lie-gacy? The world has no choice but to give him a chance. Let's hope America's new slogan doesn't become 'Make America Regret Again'. . .
The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of ATN Bangla's The Naveed Mahbub Show and ABC Radio's Good Morning Bangladesh, the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club.
E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com