MA MA MIA

During Qurbani Eid, I somehow always wished I could stay home, but of course I couldn't or wouldn't due to social obligations. Have to be careful what one wishes for – it just might come true. And it does – I am down with the dreaded Dengue. For me, it's Eid Mooooobarak from the hospital bed.

To pump up the blood platelet count, I am eating papaya leaves (ok, the leaky version). By default, that gets me to be at a fraternal level with the Qurbani goats. This is also one time I am ready to punch anyone on the face who says, "Oh, what can I alone do to keep Dhaka City clean during Qurbani?" Listen up Mr Can-Not-Do, it is ONE single Aedis mosquito that gets this 190 pound homosapien horizontal for two whole weeks! 

Whichever Aedis bites me, is now surely a fly-up comedian in the Aedis community. But if I can only get my hands on that lone ranger. . . urgh! Now, now Naveed, calm down. You're comparing yourself with that little blood sucking insect? If he jumps off the cliff, will you also jump off the cliff? Well, actually yes. In fact, I would bite it too. 

And then the message goes viral on social media about putting cloves into sliced lemon as a deterrent to the attack of the drones. To protect the kids, I follow suit. A digital hoax? Who knows. At least somebody makes a killing (no pun intended) selling lemons and cloves when goats and cows are supposed to be the hot ticket items. I get messages on Faceook, "Do let us know if this works." So, I let you know if I get Dengue (again) or not?

Oh MA MA MIA – Mosquito Anopheles, Mosquito Aedes, just go Missing In Action! Was there really any need to accommodate the pair of mosquitoes on Noah's Ark? And you want to tell me the duo didn't drive every species on board nuts, let alone create a few cases of Dengue? But of course, nobody dared squish them, but on the contrary, many a passenger on board had its fleshy parts voluntarily exposed to the royal couple during the royal banquet on the royal yacht.

What ecological balance does the Aedes, or for that matter, the mosquito in general serve? Feed the toads? Hell, I will personally feed them (the toads) biriyani if that's the alternative. Well, the mosquito at least helps pharmaceutical companies sell mosquito repellents. Aha, so, it's not quite the ecological, but rather, the economical balance that is well maintained. 

Oh well, Dengue is here to stay with its epidemic proportions which in turn has made the doctors of today well equipped to tackle the beast. What the picture will be six years from now, i.e., with the graduates of the medical-question-leak batch, that's a different, leaky story. It's Sick-i-leaks. What next? Engineering admission test questions leaked – Geek-i-Leaks? Or, British visa interview questions leaked – Brit-i-leaks. The leaky trail is endless, but the most disturbing is the leaky security in the 'secure' diplomatic zone. We may want to make the area bullet proof instead of focusing on making it lungi and rickshaw proof.

Have I opened up a can of mosquitoes and leaked them into the air? You bet. And for once, let's not think with a leaky head. . . 

The writer is an engineer at Ford & Qualcomm USA and CEO of IBM & Nokia Siemens Networks Bangladesh turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. 
E-mail: naveed@naveedmahbub.com