Tourist Distractions

Tourism is the most glamorous form of escapism. Reality is often a nightmare from which you can't wake up, no matter how hard you pinch yourself in the arm. It is when you are all worn out from work deadlines, social obligations and crisis management that you tell yourself that you must go on that much needed break. You dream of snoozing on a beach, drinking some exotic cocktail among palm trees, snuggling into soft, smooth Egyptian cotton in a plush hotel room or napping in a hammock under a tree in a wild, untouched forest in the mountains – it's amazing how many of these fantasies involve some sort of 'shut eye' indicating the level of sleep deprivation in real life.
The adventure seekers think of rock climbing, sky-diving or bungee –jumping – anything that simulates a near-death experience that define the perfect holiday.
All this and much more are possible in today's world where as long as you have the funds you can take a trip anywhere – even to the moon.
While holidaying abroad is the most delicious way to run away from the brutality of the present, there are some common hurdles that tourists universally face.
You will find that out of the number of hours spent having the time of your life and snoozing, dozing, napping and just sitting in front of the TV for some guiltless, mindless entertainment, a major proportion of your vacation time has been taken up standing in some sort of line or the other. It includes endless lines to check in, pass immigration, wait for a vacant stall in the restroom, to get a ride in the compulsory, nauseating twirling top at the amusement park, for the bus in 100 degree Fahrenheit that will take you to some paradise after this hellish stopover, outside the changing room of a store, to take a picture with an Anime character at a Cartoon convention.
Add to this the miles you have to walk to the departure gate at the airport which is invariably the last and farthest one and the umpteenth number of times that you get lost while visiting a historical site or fancy mall the size of a city. This is why some cities have foot massage facilities not only every 50 yards but also in the department stores and the airport.
Often, tourists realise that it's still a dog-eat-dog world out there even in the bowels of fantasy kingdom. You still have to elbow your way to the bread stand at the complimentary breakfast buffet to make sure you get the last raspberry croissant. In fact terms like 'complimentary', 'special deal/package', VAT refund, 'sale', 'gift voucher' and 'coupon' are trigger words that put tourists into a trance and lure them into spending even their last penny on things as essential as an elephant in 100 percent cast iron or a cigarette holder in the shape of an iguana.
These words will lead the dazed tourist into a crazy wild goose chase from counter to counter until the final moment of salvation that will give the much awaited reward – enough spare change to buy a few overpriced souvenirs at the airport shops or a 'state of the art' exercising cloth that you can hold in different positions to stretch your aching limbs.
Getting sick at least once during the duration of the trip is also a common denominator among tourists. It is how the term 'travel' diarrhoea evolved and has boosted the sale of oral saline and anti diarrhoeal medicine, especially during peak tourist seasons. Funnily enough, it may not be the vile-looking spicy cockroach fry that will get you but something as innocuous as an innocent scoop of butterscotch ice-cream.
Towards the end of the trip, in fact the night before the flight back home, most holidaymakers fall into depression. Family members, even the best of friends snap at each other, mainly for bringing so many clothes from home, making it impossible to get the suitcases to shut. Much time is spent on profuse cursing, especially after stubbing the toe into the suitcase full of bricks in a fit of illogical anger. Children reluctantly pack their new goodies, as if moving at snail pace will somehow prolong their holiday. Finally it will somehow all fit in after members of the family of varying weights have sat on the luggage. Unfortunately the cast iron elephant cannot make it and must be left at the concierge.