Published on 12:00 AM, August 30, 2018

Superpowers every school kid needs

Imagine how comfortable it would be to possess some divine powers that hold you tight with the assurance of school hours being bearable for you. You could resort to them at your own urgency (or pleasure) and bask in the blessings they are meant to bring. You could also encourage your grandkids to be regular at school while being nostalgic about those powers always having your back. No, I am not going to lure you inside a cave to unlock them because like all beneficial things, this is entirely fictional.

 

TIME MANIPULATION

The necessity of having to wake up early is surely unwanted for many of us. Hence, we the school kids need this ability to dominate time and bend it like a malleable metal so that we don't have anything to lose even if we decide to sleep a few more hours. For instance, if you feel the slumber still lurking in your eyes, you could stop time at the drop of a hat and sleep to your heart's content before going to school. Of course, it won't and shouldn't be on your textbook as to how time can actually stop and coordinate with things as they regularly function because that is just extra syllabus. Other than stopping time, you could also fast forward it so that the painful classes end fast.

Having a lot of fun during recess? Go ahead, prolong it. A bad headache suddenly decided to show up? Fast forward.

 

CLONE WARRIOR

While having a twin sibling has many cons and I don't want to go there now since it's not relevant, having a clone warrior is way better since it will not annoy you as a sibling does. No one would get to know that you have someone who looks exactly like you. It would be a temporary being and only arrive as you summon it like a genie.  We all know how tough it is for us kids to attend school the next day after late night binge watching, video gaming, or just not sleeping for some undiscovered reason. This is where the clone warriors could come to rescue. They would behave properly, know your friends, teachers, and do nothing untoward. Your attendance would be safe as you swim in the comfort of your bed.

 

INVISIBILITY

This ability would come in handy whenever you feel like having food while the class goes on, sleeping or doing anything you desperately feel like doing. Besides, when you are having a bad hair day and your uniform is not pressed like it should be, being invisible is going to be very urgent to hide from that one teacher who points out such things, reprimanding you afterwards.

 

FLYING

Once you are inside the belly of the monster that is Dhaka traffic, this creature with vehicles for limbs, you know the chances of missing that one important class or exam are very high. It is during such times that you only wish you could fly wearing a cape, appearing like the hero students actually are — we have all seen it, denial would be a crime. The downside is that telling tales to your grandchildren about how you had to walk to school with no ground beneath your feet wouldn't be possible.

 

Shah Tazrian Ashrafi wants the perils of his life to be like stormtroopers: always missing easy kill shots. Send him prayers at tazrian1234@gmail.com