You Were Never Really Here

The eyes often grow heavy

The shoulder blades hurt

Remember those days when an hour turned into another and then another? 

These days are those days

All of these days are those days

You are always here

Yet, however, you are not

Only an existence, a consciousness

Floating around

While everything passes you by

Air passes you by, while you float in it, still 

And you get up, dress up, show up

You talk about Waiting for Godot

How's the carrot, Vladimir asks Estragon

It's a carrot

You fathom theory of relativity in exam halls

When time slows down for you

And gets faster and faster for them

And countless pens keep dropping

You mull over a Wittgenstein quote

Out of context, out of place

In a manner of speaking, objects are colourless

What does that even mean?

You have never really read Wittgenstein

But you plan on reading him

And so many others

Someday

So many people to read, so little time, you think

Looking at your watch

Looking around

Eternity ticks away

[The title of the poem was borrowed from Lynne Ramsay's 2017 film of the same name.]

Anika Shah is a bilingual writer and translator. She is currently a Lecturer at the Department of English and Humanities, ULAB.