Published on 12:00 AM, March 24, 2015

MAN TO MAN

What's in your Purse?

From a very young age, most men learned that it was the height of rudeness to rummage through or ask about the contents of a woman's bag. Both acts were as scandalous as asking a lady her age. A woman and her secret purse of endless objects mystified and terrified in equal measures. On a good day, a teacher would reach into her purse and hand you a chocolate while on a bad day it could have been a meter scale primed for striking. How did she manage to fit a whole meter ruler in her tiny purse? Must have been some black-hole type situation; not like we were really allowed to ask. But what if we had asked? 

With equality the mantra and privacy near extinction, the question, "What's in your purse", was tossed around on social media. Sure, it was a little creepy, but the answers weren't the most comfortable either. In fact, women with the sweetest dispositions, revealed that indeed they carried all sorts of weapons in their bags. Stones, swiss knives, pocket knives, kitchen knives, scissors and even board pins were mentioned as 'can't leave home without it' pieces of weaponry. Their purpose wasn't even masqueraded; it was for self defense. It seemed that the women had all secretly armed themselves incase of a rebellion or perhaps they were the ones plotting and preparing for a war about to come. A disturbing thought, so it was best left unexplored. 

Hidden among the comments of this new breed of female vigilantes, a few more odd responses came about. Another petite individual, who is generally all class, said she was in the habit of carrying a 'bodna' around because in the West people do not wash up after answering mother nature. A strange and absolutely unexpected answer but one that went to show that what we understand about women can be fit on the head of a pin. Make-up kits, lipstick and tissues were again a common feature of most answers, but soon another interesting layer opened up. 

The contents of a woman's purse apparently have a direct relation to their age, their mood and their current living situation. While for men it's always a coin, something lucky, money, cards and receipts, regardless of age, situation or whatever, for women her purse changed with her. Mothers carried motherly things, students carried studently things and intellectuals carried intellectually things. Fact is, you could almost guess what kind of a person a woman is just by looking through her purse. Apart from the ID card there is always some sort of a dead giveaway. Try that at your own discretion. 

The lesson learned though was that a woman's purse was actually her entire world. A woman literally carries her entire world with her. If you were stranded on a desert island with a woman, she would probably live. You would die, considering she will surely have a knife and you won't. Jokes aside, women like to keep everything they treasure close to themselves. Some respondents to the question of the contents of their purse said how they carried momentos gathered throughout their lives, such as a magic card signed by a boyfriend and pieces of glass from a boyfriend's car crash. Also, on the bright side, many of the respondents said they carry all kinds of medicines and ointments. Meaning, even if they cut you with that knife of theirs, they might just bandage you up if you play nice. Point of this exercise? Before you date a woman, go through her purse. You'll know more in ten minutes than the first month together. Or you won't get the chance if she catches you. Roll the dice, make your choice. Remember though; the lesser you know, the better.