Pillow talking the night away!

Typical romantic movies unfortunately have had the same storyline for ages. Hero heroine meet, fall in love, fight the obstacles, get married, and live happily ever after. The end! 

This good old formula works most of the time, except 'The End', in real life is, 'The Beginning'. These movies mislead us into believing that once you get married, the battle is won! 

Getting married is relatively easy compared to staying married - which requires work. Being happily married requires more than just effort. The recipe for good nuptial relationship, or any other relationship for that matter, is having conversations. Problems will emerge and there will be a pressing need for them to be solved. A few minutes of pillow talk everyday can help you cross over from being just married to being happily married.

After a hard day's work and dealing with all kinds of stress from office, home and children, a little quiet time with your spouse can do wonders for you and your relationship. 

Pillow talk provides you with that opportunity. The conversation you have with your partner in bed at night after the rest of the family has gone to sleep and the whole house is quiet, could turn out to be some of the most precious moments of your married life. 

WHAT IS PILLOW TALK? 

The few minutes of conversation before you fall asleep, is pillow talk. It is the conversation you have at the end of the day, discussing all the good and bad things that have happened during the day. It is the time when you can discuss your feelings with each other. It is also the best time to clear any misunderstandings that arise between the both of you and to show your appreciation to your partner. 

COMMUNICATION

One of the most important aspects of married life is communication. For a marriage to thrive, you should be able to exchange your emotions, desires and beliefs openly. However, finding the right time to communicate on a daily basis can be a daunting task, especially when you are juggling work, home, children and in-laws. Communicating does not mean merely talking on a daily basis but discussing your feelings, hopes, aspirations, problems and expectations with each other.  

Finding that 'us' time is crucial and more often than not it is only when you are lying in bed at night that you can give your partner your undivided attention.

TRUST

Pillow talk has the potential to deepen trust between two individuals. It is a well-known fact that conversations that occur in the quiet of the night make it easier for couples to bare their hearts. Night time brings out a person's vulnerability which helps them talk about their feelings more openly and truthfully, something that is difficult to do during the day due to the many distractions. 

The more open and truthful you are with your partner regarding your thoughts and feelings, the more s/he will trust you. Trust is, as it should be, the foundation of any good healthy relationship.

INTIMACY 

The pressures of our daily life often result in an increasing sense of disconnect between husband and wife. When you lie in bed with your partner, it relaxes you and helps you indulge in intimate conversations thus building the connection and love in a relationship. 

Just listening to the calm voice of your partner can help you forget your troubles. You may spend the whole day with your partner and feel just like a companion, but a few minutes of pillow talk raises the level of intimacy, making you feel like lovers again.

Despite all its benefits, pillow talk is very subjective with regards to the topics of conversation couples choose. What you want to talk about with your partner is something only the two of you can decide. 

Some couples prefer to steer clear of any serious or sensitive topic which has the potential to escalate to an argument. They believe that night time is not the correct time to indulge in such conversations because when you are tired and worn out at the end of the day, you are not in the correct state of mind to rationally and calmly address serious issues. 

Moreover, any topic that causes you or your partner stress should be avoided as that could hamper a good night's sleep. Some couples prefer to stick to lighter topics of discussions, wherein they discuss daily family matters and share anecdotes that may have happened during the day.

Even if you choose to discuss your troubles, clear misunderstandings or relay feelings of hurt, it is never a good idea to end your pillow talk on a negative note. Pillow talk should be used as a tool to bring you closer to your partner. The aim is to sleep on a happy note. It is a platform for a heart to heart talk with your partner but if the differences are too big to be sorted in one night then keep them aside before you go to sleep with a promise to sort it out another time slowly but surely! Once you have established a comfort level of your own with regards to the topics you choose to discuss before bedtime, taking out 10 to 15 minutes each night before sleeping for pillow talk can build a loving and trusting bond between husband and wife; a bond that will hold you in good stead during troubled times and one that could last for a lifetime.

By Samina Hossain

Photo courtesy: LS Archive/Sazzad Ibne Sayed