My Mother in the mirror!
What is your earliest memory? Chances are that it is of your mum, smiling and singing a lullaby — such a fleeting moment, but one frozen in time, simply because of its nuances and sweetness. You remember her enchanting smile, the way the corner of her eyes creased, the scent of her skin and her fragrant hair as it touched your face. And that vision, for in your eyes she's nothing short of it, is forever etched in your mind; it's your core memory.
Mothers don't just change our diapers and feed us when young; they are who we were, what we are now, who we will be in future.
She is a moral compass that guides every decision you make, the way you and I view the world and act in it. When a toddler stumbles around in her mother's high heels, she's merely foreshadowing the future where the majority of her life choices will be guided, or at least influenced in some part if not wholly, by her mother. A bond so sacred and profound, it is the very basis of a daughter's psyche. You are because she is.
Little girls are always caught red handed, literally and figuratively, with their mother's lipstick smeared all over their thin lips. They want to transform into their mothers, the one they want to be like upon growing up. A mother's makeup is the first tool to achieve that goal; drawing full lips and dramatic, bold eyes — baby steps towards it.
The daughter sees her mother morph into a sublime creature with a swipe of mascara and lipstick, and in her mind, forever etched, is this ideal of beauty, perpetuated by the want to look like her. Ask any girl, and you will find that her mother was her first introduction to beauty, to femininity. Whether that mother was a glamorous fashionista adorned in chiffon saris and red lipstick, or a simple one in plain shalwar kameez and a braid, she somehow influenced her daughter's idea of fashion. Human beings tend to imprint traits and behaviours of parental figures, so it is no wonder that the desire to look like our mothers is so intrinsic to our nature.
And what is a more potent ideal than one's mother's wedding pictures to aspire to? Weddings are the stuff dreams are made of; a fairytale realised!
Many girls grew up fantasising about their weddings, playing 'biye biye' as little girls and then mooning over the details of their big days through teenage years. There was a grand tradition in the '80s and '90s when little girls were decked up as brides in their mother's jewellery and sari. Those photographs still hang proudly on display in some of our homes even today!
The South Asian hangover with weddings is legendary, so much so that parents dream of their daughter's wedding since the day they first hold her.
Truthfully, there is something so special, so eternal about your parents' wedding pictures. Your father, his younger, slimmer version, dapper in his ivory sherwani and pagri, holding a neatly folded handkerchief demurely on his lips to hide his embarrassment, flanked by his jubilant buddies and overzealous cousins!
And where does one begin with your mother? The sepia tinge on the photos cannot hide her radiance, her resplendent bridal glory. She is barely wearing any makeup and yet her natural glow could rival the latest highlighter. With her eyes lowered and her head covered, she is the exact opposite of the millennial Bangladeshi bride with her contoured makeup and air of overconfidence.
Her eyes are lined lightly with kajol and there is a hint of face powder, some rouge and a little red lipstick. An intricate 'teep' adorns her forehead. The rich red hue of her bridal kataan sari is vibrant, the zari thread motifs on it sparkling and twinkling. A sheer red ceremonious orna sprinkled with sequins reminiscent of stars in the sky covers her head gracefully, and her beautiful dark hair that has been fashioned into a neat bun adorned with Rojonigondha strands peeks demurely from underneath the sheer fabric.
The tikli her grandmother wore on her wedding day gleams proudly on her forehead, while precious bridal jewellery adorns her person elegantly. For all her life she may have been the quintessential girl-next-door but on her wedding day she was the queen. Her lowered gaze and demure ways charmed everyone in her new family, you have been told countless times by your daadi and fuppis growing up and you can see why. She epitomised virtue and grace with her lowered gaze, and her shy smile reflected love and kindness. A symbol of hope and optimism, her auspicious entrance in her new home symbolised happiness and joy.
To the world it may just be a picture, but for a daughter it is so much more. As a little girl she spends hours staring at her mother's picture as a bride, yearning to grow up, come of age and become a woman. Marriage is the most important and crucial step in a person's life that determines one's future happiness to a great extent.
Channelling one's mother's look is perhaps a way to be optimistic that the daughter's marriage will be blessed with the same conjugal bliss, unconditional love, commitment and dedication shared by her parents. It is a testament to the belief on a subconscious level that by looking like her mother on her big day, some of that charm and magic of her mother's married life will be filtered into her life, and that moment will be re-lived by both women.
Photo: LS Personal Collection
Tribute to Mom
Modern trends may be a far cry from our mothers' times, but recreating her look will not only set you apart, but it will allow you to pay tribute to the most important woman in your life. Traditional red katan is a classic that will look timeless, always. Other heritage weaves such as Jamdani, and Banarasi were worn by some, and still look modern and current.
Many women wore offbeat colours such as teal, purple, magenta; which look magnificent even today. In terms of makeup, keep the basic idea of letting your natural glow shine, but update the techniques by airbrushing and using a bit of shading and contouring wherever needed.
Simple buns adorned with flowers look beautiful always. Anushka Sharma's floral bun is a way to make it feel current. The jewellery can make you go nostalgic over and over again. One good reason to recreate your mum's look should be her jewellery. Consider yourself lucky if the beautiful piece had been passed on as a keepsake otherwise visit the jeweller and make a copy of the stunning charms.
A tip to keep in mind is to not go overboard with anything. You are recreating her look, not copying it entirely. Your mother and you are different people who may have different face shapes, body structure, skin tones, etc. What may have worked for her may not work for you and vice versa. So do your research and act accordingly, while keeping true to your inspiration. And surely, you will charm all members of your new family, just like your mother did all those years ago!
Photo: Sazzad Ibne Sayed
Model: Meghla