Your Ex’s Gift: Toss It or Treasure It?
You have just broken up with the supposed love of your life. Many tears and movie marathons later, you have probably moved on, all except for one thing: those darned gifts.
Your best friend of five years is suggesting you throw them away — they are of no use! But deep down, your heart says otherwise. Relationships can be such a headache…Is that gift really so appreciable? Or is it just another worthless excuse for you to hold onto memories which will never return?
The most popular and safest option appears to be that it depends entirely on the gift. If your previous lover spoiled you with the finest prizes, that fancy handbag or the new PS5 may be hard to throw away. But if their gifts reduce down to a silver necklace, perhaps flinging it into the bin does not seem so bad after all.
But is that really it? The cowardly mind does not rest so easily. Despite that nasty breakup, the gift is one part of them that did not dump you via a backhanded text at two in the morning.
When it comes to memories, 21-year-old Sashi, a third-year university student, has a varied outlook on it.
"I think it depends on the gift and your feelings. I had a horrible experience, but I didn't feel the need to waste the items I really liked. But the ones that brought me emotional turmoil I had to get rid of."
Lovers like Sashi are not new to the heartbreak of romance. After a rough breakup in 2022, Sashi is now left with scars from her past, but also yearns for a love she felt so long ago, the gifts sending her a reminder of the unconditional love still out there.
Masud, 19, disagrees. The idea of 'hoarding rubbish' according to him is a waste of time. Blunt souls like him believe in holding your head up high and moving forward, especially in cases like breakups. Perhaps, the bracelet from that one date which went horribly wrong should go!
"It's simple really; they're an ex now. What am I going to do with their gifts? It's better off burnt or thrown in the trash can than lying around in your room. It's another disaster waiting to happen!" he chuckles.
In a way, Masud is not entirely wrong. It may be a mistake to be so attached, especially to gifts that are quite personal. Explaining to your future partner why you still have a love letter from 9th grade could be quite awkward.
Some people are hopeless romantics, some of them being Navid, a 23-year-old idealistic dreamer. To people like him, love is something to be celebrated, and past experiences are something to be cherished.
Pondering at the question, he states: "I absolutely believe you should keep it, every single piece of it. As humans, we're complex beings. We have feelings and we're fragile; we hate but we also love. The memories we make with past lovers have such significance, it's something to look back at and smile that it happened."
The drug of nostalgia is an addictive one, perhaps more addictive than the vanilla ice cream you devour to forget about that breakup. Looking back at the old days and reminiscing at the past is quite bittersweet, in a way almost so comforting.
If a part of you still wants to preserve the memory of your past lover, then shelving it in the back of your cabinet sounds pretty okay. Not only will it allow you to make peace with your past, but it will also give you a chance to look back at the fond memories and smile. Just don't expect your ex to crawl back because of that (or perhaps they will, who knows?).
In a relationship, gifts are just another form of a love language we use to communicate with our partner. Disposing of the broken parts your ex left for you is your choice, and ultimately the decision is your path to take.
If those gifts are still near and dear to you and you're happy with holding onto them for just a bit longer, then do exactly that. But if you're sure that you want nothing to do with that past lover, perhaps waving those gifts goodbye isn't such a bad idea.
Certain names have been changed to maintain confidentiality