The Sorry Tale: Apologies in a relationship

Some think that apologising is degrading. In reality, an apology is the indication that you care about the relationship more than you care about your anger and contrary to what you have been led to believe, it's not degrading.

Admitting your mistake means that you recognise what you did wrong and you are willing to work on it to improve yourself. Which is a very admirable quality.

In many ways, a relationship is like a bicycle. Just like a bicycle needs two wheels running at the same time for it to move forward, a relationship needs two people working on it for it to move forward. And just like you do not learn to ride a bicycle properly without falling down first, your relationship is not solidified till you have had your first fight. And with a fight, comes the next part — an apology.

Bill Burr, the comedian who is known for his controversial stand ups knows this. As he pointed out in a heated special — "How are you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?"  If Bill Burr can figure it out, you can do it too.

Miraj Ahmed, a graduate student was reminiscing about his long-distance relationship as he pointed out how not saying sorry led to his breakup.

"It was never symmetrical. First it was me who only said sorry. Then we were broken up for a while and when we got back together, it was only her saying sorry. Then we broke up again and it was me back to me apologising constantly. Looking back at it, it was always one sided and that's why the relationship didn't last," said he in a gloomy tone.

Sumaiya Parvin on the other hand, had a very different experience. After dating for four years, she recently got married.

 "We've had some very ugly fights over the years. Fortunately, we are both silly enough to come back and apologise. I guess that's why we managed to end up getting married," she said jokingly.

 "In normal fights it was mostly him saying sorry in the earlier days, we've moved on from that and now it's both of us," she added after pondering for a moment.

While most men complain about having to say sorry, some have it the other way around. Rasel Hasan, an engineering student was rather annoyed because his partner was always apologising.

"It gets annoying after a while. Even when it's not her fault, she apologises and that's not how it should be." He said recognising that some people just have the habit of saying sorry as a personality trait.

Saying sorry is much more powerful than staying silent. Remember what everyone says while giving you advice? Communication is key. This is true not just for relationships, but in every aspect of your life. While it is true that some people claim to have clairvoyance power and mind reading abilities, most of us are just regular people who will not know what you are thinking if do not tell us. So even if you do believe in telepathy, we recommend communicating with your partner in clear words to make your relationship work.

Photo: Collected