Are you being too nice to people? Be careful about these 10 things
Everyone likes nice people — they are easier to get along with, and it's all smiles, rainbows, and butterflies around them. Wonderful as it may be for the people they interact with, being too nice can take a toll on them both physically and mentally.
Here are 10 ways in which you can have it hard if you are too nice:
Time wasted
Hi-hellos, small talk, and the barrage of emotional baggage that people pile on you can be taxing. As if the mental load is not enough, you could also be babysitting your friends' children, doing a grocery run for an elderly relative, or resolving a fight between two colleagues, as people expect these gestures to come from you.
Easier to scam
Nice does not have to mean stupid but nice people often find themselves unable to say no, even when they know they are being taken in for a ride. You may also be easy to manipulate and people can easily embroil you in dirty office or family politics.
Setting personal boundaries
Nice people are not the best at setting personal boundaries as the latter involves the ability to say no on certain occasions. This is why they often find people encroaching on their personal space and time, rather unapologetically.
Unmet needs
Even if meeting the needs of others becomes second nature to you, it might not be the same case when you need something done. Often, nice people are too available for everyone and then feel extremely disappointed when others do not reciprocate the gesture.
Well-being
The cost of constantly putting others above your well-being can be counter-productive in the long run. It can get tiring and heavy, and it is easy to start feeling invisible and underappreciated around people.
Unwanted romantic attention
One of the most annoying things to happen to you if you are too nice is that you can attract all kinds of attention, not all of it welcome. One can get asked out, hit on, stood up, etc. and it can come at a heavy emotional price.
Unwilling participation
If you are too nice, you will get invited to all sorts of places and while it can be nice to feel wanted, you may find yourself saying yes to invitations you do not want to accept.
Extra duties
You might find yourself bearing the worst of the workload because you are too sweet to refuse it. Whether the extra work translates into a pay raise or not, it does not bode well for your time off.
Over-apologising
Your niceness can have you constantly worried about hurting someone's feelings and often apologise more than necessary. This can keep you in an anxious state.
People pleasing
Being too nice can often be people-pleasing behaviour, caused by some sort of insecurity beneath the whole thing. It may be worth your while to find out the underlying reason behind your constantly being nice to people, even at the cost of your sanity.