5 important life lessons to learn from Phoebe Buffay

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is one sitcom that the 90s generation still finds comfort in. Running for ten years and ten seasons, Lisa Kudrow's character, Phoebe Buffay has taken up a special place in everyone's heart with her quirky personality and sense of individuality. The teachings and values Phoebe imparts are timeless just as the show and resonates with any and every generation.

A stable job is not always the answer

Throughout F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Phoebe goes through a myriad of occupations — a set extra, catering waitress, telemarketing executive, secretary, and masseuse. She appreciates the freedom that comes with not having a steady job. Let's not forget, throughout all these career changes, her true passion was music, something she never truly chooses to monetise and rather invest in for herself.

We as a society not only cherish the stability that a steady job offers, but it is something we work for relentlessly. Thinking about a job that we are not tied down to or where we have the freedom to leave at any point, is a doctrine our minds could never conceptualise but Phoebe teaches us that having a stable 9 to 5 does not ensure success and happiness.

Being uniquely yourself

Everyone in the group had their defining traits but Phoebe marched to the beat of her own drum. Starting from her hobbies to her clothes, her quirky personality, and her unique eccentricities, she never shied away from being her true self. At times, her uniqueness was too much for her friends to handle like when Rachel was embarrassed to go running with her. However, societal perceptions were never enough for Phoebe to change.

This is perhaps the most important lesson we can take from Phoebe. We all strive to be a part of society's homogeneous wave of black hats and fear of standing out. We all want to blend in so much that we are afraid to be ourselves. But let's face it, life is too short to be concerned with what other people think. Not everyone has to like us, but we all should be free to live and express ourselves the way we want.

Your past does not define you

Phoebe had a difficult childhood and her teen years were not kind to her. Being homeless and picking pockets to survive after her step-father is imprisoned, her mother taking her own life, and her father deserting her – these were undoubtedly traumatic experiences for her.

Despite this, Phoebe works her way out of her circumstance and remains optimistic. While she does not detach herself from her past completely, she also never lets her past define her. Phoebe is a good example of tenacity in overcoming obstacles and while everyone is not able to do so, her journey is inspirational.

Honestly really is the best policy

Phoebe struggled to keep secrets, especially about herself. Although she had a private life, she never purposefully kept anything a secret. When certain aspects of her past did come to light, she owned up to it instead of denying it. In real life, being truthful is always the best course of action. The truth always gets out and it can do so in some very nasty ways, so there is no point in hiding things.

True friendships are forever

In one of her best quotes from Friends, Phoebe says, "Boyfriends and girlfriends are gonna come and go, but this is for life".

More than twenty years later, her assertion is still accurate. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. supported the notion that friends can be your family. Phoebe herself stood out as one of the group's most loyal in terms of friendships. Despite her fierce independence, she was always there for her friends when they needed her. It's a lovely sentiment that not enough people keep in mind.

Phoebe is a unique character. Within the humour she manages to impart some valuable lessons which resonate with everyone. Her ideals, morals, and values go past the screen and serve as important reminders of who and what we want to be.