The Violence Of Greedy Matrimon(e)y
Just three months after Salma Begum was married off to Khalil, she was set on fire by her husband when his demands for a substantial amount of dowry were not met. Tushti, a first-semester student of MBA at Dhaka University, was admitted to Dhaka Medical College and Hospital after her in-laws tortured her for dowry in front of her mother and brother who were assaulted as well. Sakhawat Hossain Shohag, a police officer in Narsingdi, has been jailed for torturing his wife for more dowry. Shukhi, a young housewife, had her eyes gouged out as she was tortured by her husband and in-laws with a mobile tester for similar reasons. Although dowry-related violence in our society isn't new and much has been written to highlight this dreadful epidemic, it remains widespread and continues to claim the lives of many; stories of countless deaths due to dowry-related reasons go unreported and are buried alongside the bodies of innocent girls and women.
DOWRY IN BANGLADESH
The practice of dowry is one of the most evil forms of social ills to pervade Bangladeshi society. Dowry (payment in the form of money or property brought by the bride to her husband) in the South Asian region can be traced back to centuries. One of the most important socio-economic factors behind the widespread practice of this social malaise is poverty. Bangladesh, where a quarter of the 160 million population lives below $2 per day, poverty, lack of education and the low status of women are inherently tied to one another. Dire poverty drives these regressive practices, and dowry is seen as a 'get rich quick' type of scheme -- a shortcut to upward social mobility. Despite the efforts of women's rights groups, activists and international lobbies to curb dowry-related violence, the latter continues unabated.
Dowry is so deeply embedded in our social fabric that many women themselves don't see anything wrong with it. In fact, in a lot of cases, bringing along dowry boosts a woman's self-confidence as she steps into a new home. Many women fail to recognise the commodifying and devaluing effects that dowry has.
There exist many reasons that prevent married women from seeking help. The lack of financial independence, social stigma associated with a broken marriage and the reluctance of parental families to take back their daughters into their homes are just some of many significant factors.
What is particularly disturbing, however, is the apparent 'normalisation', for the lack of a better word, of such grisly acts of violence against women carried out under the guise of marriage -- an institution of sanctity and of unity in sickness and in health. "Wife beating for dowry or permission for second marriage is the most common case of physical abuse we get," says Salma Ali, Executive Director of BNWLA. "When demands are not met by the brides' parents, the husband or his family members use violence especially during the early stage of marriage. Sometimes it can be fatal. We see cases of killings everyday," she adds.
Despite all the meaningful work being done by NGOs and rights groups, personal stories of many girls and women -- whose lives are cut short due to their husbands' and in-laws' insatiable greed -- get lost somewhere in between. Whether it's the case of Marina whose husband Shamsher slaughtered her on their 22nd day of marriage because his dowry claim of Tk 20,000 wasn't met, or Beauty Akhtar who was beaten to a pulp with an iron rod by multiple members of her in-laws, the brunt of the sickening mentality that likens human lives to monetary value is borne by women on a daily basis. Demands for dowry are rarely ever satisfied, and as they continue throughout the marriage, children and other members of the family too are tortured and victimised in this degrading, dehumanising process.
AN OVERVIEW
The dowry system has been in place since the ancient period. In the Vedic period (1500-500 BCE), the institution of marriage was associated with 'Kanyadhana', gifts given to the bride; 'Varadakshina' and 'Stridhana' were gifts voluntarily given to the groom by the bride's family, and gifts given to the bride by her relatives respectively. It appears that the dowry system, as we know it today, was unknown in the ancient period.
According to Hindu law, daughters are not allowed to inherit their fathers' property and under Islamic law, a daughter is entitled to half as much inheritance as the son. In this view, the concept of dowry used to be understood as investment, protection or asset in the daughter's newlywed life and these 'gifts' were meant to remain in her possession. The system of dowry first emerged in the Hindu community, and eventually became pervasive in the Muslim community. The voluntary aspect of it eroded and the coercive element slowly crept in. In the context of South Asia, dowry practices have much more to do with cultural factors than religious ones.
Although poverty is strongly related to the unholy 'tradition' that is dowry, a common misconception that prevails is that the dowry system is limited to the lower class and the underprivileged. However, the practice of dowry was originally prevalent in wealthy families and it eventually seeped into the lives of ordinary families. Instead of calling presents given during marriage 'dowry', the well-off and educated refer to them as 'wedding gifts'. In contrast to rural practices where the bride's family is forced into giving dowry, the elite section of society, although not directly or blatantly coerced into donating 'gifts', finds itself facing an inherent social pressure to shower presents/money.
Dowry in South Asia and in Bangladesh can be classified into three categories. The first type is in the form of furniture, presents and other useful items, intended for use in the new household and meant to remain in the bride's possession. The second type, mainly in the form of a large investment or present, demonstrates the wealth and status of the bride's family. The third type -- the most problematic kind that dowry is associated to in its current form -- is when the husband and/or his family decides on the amount and sort of presents and demands dowry as "either as a condition for the marriage itself, or at a later stage" (Götting Katharina, 2009). In Bangladesh's context, dowry includes money, jewellery, furniture, household items, cars, apartment, land, expenses, etc, either paid voluntarily or on demand to the groom's family.
CHILD MARRIAGE AND DOWRY
The spate of dowry-related deaths and torture cannot be separated from the epidemic of child marriage in Bangladesh. UNICEF ranks Bangladesh fourth highest in the world when it comes to the rate of child marriage. In a survey carried out by UNICEF, it was revealed that between 2005-2013, 29 percent of girls were married off before the tender age of 15 and 65 percent before the age of 18. In effect, extracting dowry is easier in these cases as lower amounts of dowry are charged when girls are married off young. In fact, such practices are not only accepted, but even expected in some communities. As needy families, desperate to the extent of selling off their girl child, deprive the latter of a blissful childhood, the helpless young 'bride', barely able to comprehend the situation, is forced to take upon the responsibilities of a grown adult. Child marriage is not only a coping mechanism for a family trying to get rid of the girl child, deemed an 'extra financial burden', but also for the family she is forced to marry into.
Natural disasters such as earthquakes, cyclones, floods and droughts are a common occurrence in Bangladesh and it's not uncommon for the poverty-stricken, who are particularly vulnerable to such phenomena, to lose their livelihood, land, and property in the aftermath of such unfortunate events. Consequently, the role that natural disasters play in child marriage, when families are faced with deepening poverty, cannot be highlighted enough.
Despite dowry being illegal under the Women and Children Repression Prevention Act 2000 (amended in 2003) and the Dowry Prohibition Act (DPA), 1980, this regressive practice often justified as an age-old custom, continues to prevail, especially in rural areas of the country. Dr. Saira Rahman Khan of the School of Law of Brac University explains that factors conducive to such practices include the severe lack of implementation of laws, among other reasons. The failure of the government to rigorously apply the DPA and an overall absence of a mass awareness campaign regarding dowry-related laws are largely to blame, from the legal perspective. For many women, the lack of willingness to go down the legal route stems from the fear of being abandoned by her husband and in-laws, harassment at the court, corruption, a complicated and sluggish judicial process that they have no faith in, and social stigma. For the poor, legal expenses such as lawyer fees, court fees, and speed-money at different stages in the process, hinder them from approaching the court. Criminalisation of both parties involved in the process of dowry further discourages them from resorting to legal means.
WAY FORWARD
The government must take corrective measures to make legal options accessible for women, and tackle poverty, corruption and national unemployment head on. However, women themselves must take initiatives and be at the forefront of mass movements, to raise awareness on the social epidemic that is dowry-related violence. The media too must recognise the pivotal role it plays in all of this. In a country where faith in the governmental, judicial and all other systems remains dismally low, where countless incidents of violence against women and children continue to take place behind closed doors, where cries for help go unheard everyday, we must come together in unity to safeguard the safety and dignity of our girls and women instead of dehumanising them by reducing them to an item to be "given away" and a burden to be discarded under the veil of marriage.