Controlling our temper

Healthy life begins with physical consciousness and calm temper, and at the heart of this dynamic is emotional maturity. Today, world's number one enemy is stress. Lots of survey have already proven that. In addition the holiday/marriage season can bring with an emotional and financial stressors; that can negatively impact both physical and mental health. And in this stressed world, chronically angry people endanger their health, their jobs and their personal relationships.

The latest discoveries in neuroscience show the significance of joyful relationships to the development of a strong identity that produces flexibility for dealing with life's challenges. Today we are so busy that we do not have time to ask ourselves — 'What is happiness? What makes it so important? What helps it grow? What blocks it? And is there a difference between patience with kindness and happiness? Or how dangerous is short temper or anger?' Recent research demonstrates that kindness benefits our physical and mental health, and that recognising kindness in others increases a person's happiness and satisfaction.

Dr. Norman Rosenthal, a psychiatrist in Washington and an expert on depression and anger, says drivers who are trying to pressure the cars in front to move faster or get out of the way, "are always sitting on their arteries," which constrict in response to stress hormones that spew forth from their adrenal glands. "These people live on a razor's edge," he continued, "always vigilant and tense, angry because they want to get some place quicker and think that they can somehow clear the highway."

So, let's start giving some extra time, when we are angry. We can calm down inside. This means not just controlling our outward behaviour, but also controlling our internal responses, taking steps to lower our heart rate, calm ourselves down, and let the feelings subside. And follow The 80 – 20 Rule. What is that? 20% of life are things that happen to us. We have no control over these events. And 80% of our life depends on how we react to the things that happen to us.

So, we can have total control over our choice of reaction to the things that happen to us. Well, if you are skeptical, then the first step would be to look at the mirror. In reducing unfriendly tendencies — let's try our best to recognise how hostile we may be and the one-sided thoughts and beliefs that give rise to angry outbursts.

E-mail: rubaiulmurshed@gmail.com