Published on 12:00 AM, September 18, 2021

Readers’ Corner

Aurangzeb’s crown found in a local tea-stall

According to news circulating on the internet, the crown of the late 18th-century Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb has been found in a local tea stall.  

A beautiful, bejewelled crown with opals, garnets and rubies instantly caught people's attention, although no soul was seen in a panjabi with sword and nagra.

It is not every day some Mughal prince leaves a dazzling headset in your local Tongi tea-stall.

The stall-owner who did not want to be identified for the sake of any attention jubilantly declared in a statement: "At first I looked for notes, tags or any piece of identifiers tucked inside the seam of the crown so as to track down the owner and return it.

"Then I thought why not have my nephew Vysta make a Go-Fund-Me page so that I can make twice the money from that goodwill?"

When the editors at News Team inquired if it is unusual that such an item was left behind, the stall-owner, Akbar, who later changed his mind about being identified pointed out: "No, it's not at all out of the ordinary. You must remember it was Friday and happened right after Juma prayers. So, it is entirely possible some wealthy individual from Gulshan could have mistakenly left it, who is desperately searching for it after proposing a hefty reward."

It was not long before reporters and government agencies as well as the customary Dhaka crowd formed around his stall with offers pouring in for appraisals from curators wanting to "authenticate" the item.

Vysta wanted to upload the item to "Kinbay?" but cooler heads prevailed when they detected the tag "100% Polyester Do Not Machine Wash" on the item. They realised there is much more profit to be made by ripping off the tag and reporting the fake news to one of the notable papers with a large audience.

A man carrying a begging bowl and a loincloth uttered: "Nehi, nehi, sab bhagavan ki lila hay, sab maya hai…." and claimed it was a collective hallucination. When he was asked why he was speaking Hindi for no reason, the man who identified himself as Sadhubaba revealed that he has been living here for 2,500 years ago after he missed his flight back home!

Police promptly entered the premises trying to "secure" the item as one spokesperson wearing a mask said: "We are temporarily holding the item. Let no man think we are some venal officials."

No one knew why that latter part had to be pointed out.

A man desperately used the password: "Apne janen ami kay?" to gain access to the item but were denied by the "honest" officials. And after a roundtable at a nearby square table, it was decided that it should be raised in parliament as it may need to be returned to any possible country of origin which could be the rightful owner.

Finally, a student of PUB (Prominent University of Bangladesh) drove to the area, got down, took the item and drove away with the crown jewel without speaking a single word... or shedding any sweat driving his latest brand-new olive-green Audi TT model newly imported from Germany.

Why was he able to get away with it without him or anyone else uttering a single word? Well, because he was driving his latest brand-new olive green Audi TT model newly imported from Germany.

Or was the sadhubaba right? Was it all a collective hallucination?

 

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