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     Volume 9 Issue 43| November 05, 2010 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a patient of acute hypomania. Because of this chronic illness, I couldn't study properly for my first year finals and scored 35 out of 75. My illness is taking over my life. The treatment process is long and time consuming. I don't want my illness to ruin my future. I want to graduate with the rest of my batch but at this point that seems impossible. What should I do? Will I ever be able to live a normal life?
Acute Hypomanic

Dear Acute,
I am sorry but you need medical advice. I don't have much idea about this illness. All I can say is that if you are determined then any illness can be fought and resisted. The most important thing is to be strong mentally and tell yourself that you will overcome this situation no matter what. .

Dear Mita,
I have lived abroad for about 10 years and have returned home to my parents recently. I am a 28-year-old woman and I have been taking care of myself these past 10 years, living alone. Now all of a sudden I have to ask for permission to leave the house, and everyone wants to know my business. My parents want to know who I am hanging out with, how long I will stay out and they keep calling to check up on me. At first, I found this amusing, but now it's bordering on insanity. My parents won't let me get my own place and insist on chaperoning me wherever they can. They even call on my work phone to check if I'm there. It seems like they don't trust me at all. I want to live with them and take care of them, but if this continues I don't think I will be able to handle it. I have tried to talk to them, but they just don't seem to get it. Please tell me what I can do to make them understand.

Dear Frustrated,
This must be a very difficult situation. But to be fair to your parents, they are mostly concerned about your security, I don't think the problem is one of trust. I am sure they trust you very much otherwise they would not have allowed you to stay abroad for so many years. You should talk to them again, politely but firmly and give a very clear message that they cannot treat you as a child anymore. You on the other hand should try to allay their fears by not staying out too late and even inviting your friends over so that they know who you spend your time with. Just be a little strategic, I am sure they will make the adjustment soon.

Dear Mita,
I am in love with someone who will never return my love. He is gorgeous and brilliant and everything I ever wanted in a life partner, but he does not return my affections. We have been friends for a while now and I have tried to find out what he wants in a girlfriend, but no matter how hard I try to be the person he would want to be with, he doesn't seem to notice. I don't want to appear desperate by telling him how I feel but I have made it pretty obvious that I love him and will do anything for him. I know he isn't seeing anyone else. Can you please tell me how I can talk to him about my feelings without embarrassing myself?
In love

Dear In love,
If you are so much in love then you must also be able to face the consequences of embarrassment or even rejection. However, don't push him, some men feel trapped if they are approached. Stay calm and cool, be nice, friendly and pleasant Do little things that you know will make him happy but don't fall over yourself to please him. If he is that great then it is worth going for him, but as I said be prepared for the consequences. As you know, not all romance ends in marriage, and not all marriage ends in marital bliss.



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