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    Volume 9 Issue 30| July 23, 2010|

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a 22-year-old girl and I have been seeing my boyfriend who is 27 for over a year now and am very much in love with him. I recently found out I am pregnant with his child, and when I told him about it he was very scared and wanted me to have an abortion. I had expected him to propose and take responsibility for our child but he said he was too young to settle down and wanted to do more with his life and didn't want to be tied down by a family. He says he loves me and will marry me someday but I have to get rid of the baby now. I don't know how I feel about an abortion. I never thought of getting married at this age but it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. On the other hand, I cannot imagine raising a child on my own in this country. Please tell me what I should do. I have not had the courage to tell my parents about this.

Dear Distressed,
This is indeed a very serious situation. However, you both should have considered this possibility when you entered a relationship of intimacy. Responsibility and mutual respect ought to be the main features of any mature and serious relationship. I cannot advise you to go and have an illegal abortion and however painful it might be, you should tell your parents. As for the boy, it is up to you to decide if you want to spend your life with such a person. Whatever your decision is, it should be taken jointly.

Dear Mita,
I have had a very normal and uneventful life until recently. I was walking home from work late one night and I was mugged. The muggers cut my arm with a blade before they took off and ever since this incident I cannot walk home without thinking there is someone walking behind me. I am terrified and suspicious of everyone. I cannot sleep at night because I feel like someone is watching me through the windows. It has reached a point where my family is frustrated with me and my colleagues think I am insane. Am I?

Dear Not Paranoid,
You are not paranoid neither are you insane. This is a very normal reaction after such a horrifying experience. Some people take longer to get over a traumatic incident. However, you have to slowly begin to go back to your normal life. The fear you have experienced will remain with you for a long time but if you try it will slowly fade away. Please take help from family, friends or even a professional counselor.

Dear Mita,
I have had a crush on a boy for some time. I am pretty sure he likes me too. His friends tell me he does and I can tell by the way he talks to me and the attention he gives me that he is interested. Problem is, it has been a few months and he still hasn't made a move to ask me out. Everyone says he is shy so I tried to tell him in many ways that I am interested without actually saying it out loud but it doesn't work. Please tell me how I can get him to confess his feelings for me.

Dear Crushed,
You have to start a friendship with the boy before you find out if he is interested in you. He might be shy but will certainly respond to your hand of friendship. On the other hand, he might not be interested and it could be that you have a one-sided crush on him. You should be prepared for this and this news will not be the end of the world. There will be other boys in your life who will appreciate you.



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