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     Volume 5 Issue 111 | September 8, 2006 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I have been married for one year and live in a joint family. My family was opposed to the marriage from the beginning, thinking my husband worthless, and because my mother-in-law had a bad reputation. But I went ahead with it. It was only after I got married that I found out that my mother-in-law has a lesbian relationship with the maid. I actually walked in on them while in the act one day. The problem is that, whenever there is a problem in our house, my mother-in-law takes the side of the maid. Recently, there was a very small fight, and another maid in the house threatened to hit me with a shoe. The other maid, the one involved with my mother-in-law, actually attacked me with a sharp object, injuring my throat. My father-in-law walked in just as I was demanding justice from my mother-in-law. As nothing came of it, I left the house and wanted to press charges against the maid who attacked me. But my mother-in-law is actually saying that it was I who attacked the maid. My sister-in-law, who has been in the family for seven years, has told me that no matter what happens, even if I or my husband leave the house, the maids will stay. My husband is not really playing a role in the matter. I am currently staying at my parents' home, but this cannot continue indefinitely. What should I do?

Needless to say, this is indeed a very strange situation. Your husband should take responsibility and protect you from any harm. It is time to give him an ultimatum and tell him that you will have to leave him if he does not take action. You cannot live in a situation where your life may be in danger.
As regard the relationship with the maid and the mother in law. Sordid as it may be, it is really her business and as long as it does not interfere with your life, you should not bother. It is best if you and your husband move out and live on your own.

Dear Mita,
My friend met a guy at her college and became friends. Soon the guy fell in love with her, asked her out and she said yes. But the guy is extremely possessive. He emotionally blackmails her by slitting his wrists. He even called her a prostitute. My friend doesn't love him but can't leave him for fear that he will destroy himself. My friend's mother doesn't like the guy either, but my friend can't leave him. Neither can she tell her mother about it. Should I tell her mother for her? How can I help?
A friend

Dear Friend,
Yes, your friend should get out of this relationship as soon as possible. This kind of behaviour will eventually lead to serious problems. She should explain to him as best as possible that she is not suitable for him and therefore will leave him. If he destroys himself, well that is his problem, she cannot take responsibility for it. If your friend refuses to listen then you should tell her mother but make sure that you warn her before you do so.

Dear Mita,
I recently completed my MBA and am working for a private firm. As I'm not fully satisfied with my current job, I'm looking for jobs in other companies. The problem is that, when I'm called for interviews, I can't behave normally. I know I have to sell myself to the interviewers, my prospective employers, that I need to impress them in order for them to want to hire me. But I get nervous and mix everything up and just become utterly confused. Please give me some suggestions as to how I can present myself smartly to the interviewers and convince them to hire me.

Dear S,
The only solution is, you have to be better prepared for the interview. Try your best to impress but not over impress. The more you prepare for the interview, the more confident you will be. Go over all the probable questions and ask a friend to listen to the answers that you give. At the end of the day, it is your self confidence that the interviewee will see. After one or two failures, I am sure you will get through. We have all failed interviews in our life, it is not the end of the world.

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