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     Volume 5 Issue 111 | September 8, 2006 |

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Profound pleasure of purchase


If you do not have 115 million US dollars to spare, which is plus 800 crore Taka, may it be modestly suggested that you stop reading here.

The 15-20 of you in the country who have that much money may command your MBA-pass servant to read the rest of the article to your PhD PA who can then explain to you the nitty-gritty of the matter when you return from your weekend in Puerto Murques Bay south of Acapulco. For this shopper's guide is meant for the minuscule minority of you enjoying the majority of our wealth.

If it sounds like I am jealous, you have never been more wrong in your life. In truth I am very jealous.

Perchance it may have bothered you occasionally, what the dozokh will you do with so much money especially if you are a Muslim and have no chance at all of reincarnating in another rich and/or influential family. Let us inconsequential souls (although we are still living) not waste your valuable time by querying how you amassed so much money in such a short time. That is best covered by your pocketed anti-corruption buro (read oldie) or as the trio appear in a new bottle called the anti-corruption com-(read less)-mission. The essence of today's piece, gentlemen, is 'why' you amassed so much wealth.

The intelligent answer to that dim-witted question is “to spend it”. But you already own ten 20-storied buildings in Dhaka, nine tea gardens in Sylhet, eight tigers in the Sundarbans, seven islands on the Meghna estuary, six hills in the hill tracts (where else), half of Buriganga, four ocean liners, three banks, two helicopters and one wife (everybody's dour is that far), so what else could you possibly buy? This is where this guide could be rather useful.

Here follows a selection of items that you could indulge in. Oh! Why do I talk like a moronic mortal? This is not indulgence for you; it is more like our shopping for peanuts on the footpath.
You could buy:
*A Pablo Picasso masterpiece, painted in 1905 when he was just 24 years old. It became the most expensive piece of art ever sold when it went under the hammer at Sotheby's in New York for $104m. The painting, Garcon a la Pipe (Boy with a Pipe) is one of the most important early works by the artist ever to appear on the market. So start your artsy career!

*Nail polish that has platinum dust in it. The 'I Do' polish, the most expensive in the world, is collaboration by Allure magazine, platinum supplier Johnson Matthey, PGI and Essie Cosmetics. The polish costs $250 per bottle. However, the first bottle was displayed in special bottle made with platinum top and base that is valued at $55,000. So pamper her!

*Salman Khan's designer tie, the most expensive one in the world. Studded with 261 diamonds of 77 carat each and made of pure silk with 150 grams of gold, it is priced at a whopping (to us) $250,000. It is designed by Satya Paul and the Suashish Diamond group. So hang yourself!

*The world's most expensive perfume at 47,500 pound sterling a bottle. Indeed, the best things come in small packages. (I should know; I am five feet four.) The fragrance, created by renowned British perfumer Arthur Burnham, is held in a four-inch bottle made with platinum, 24-carat gold, rubies and diamonds. Encasing the bottle is a very special box constructed by Rolls-Royce coach builders, locked with a gold and jewel-studded key. Inspired by the Rolls-Royce Phantom Six, it is called Parfum VI. Only 173 are being made. So hurry!

*A Peter Aloisson phone, covered in gold and diamonds. It costs more than a BMW 3-series convertible, or a Jaguar S-Type. It's a Motorola covered in 1200 diamonds and features a keyboard soaked in 18-carat gold, and is priced at 28,000 pound sterling.

*One of the most complicated watches ever made, and also the most expensive watch ever sold; it was hammered down for $11 million at Sotheby's. The gold pocket-watch features 24 complications, i.e. mechanical functions other than the hours, minutes and seconds.

As for me, I will offer myself to the splatter of the sea
And inhale the moist joys of life.
Each day is a shimmering pebble come alive across the receding sands of time
The waves may batter to bits the fragile arrogance of a castle
And melt the odds of strife
For this lifetime afford I cannot even a whiff of the fragrant mist
The splatter of the sea, that is.

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