The Spin Doctors
VLADIMIR Putin just wanted Ukraine to let him in. After all, he won by a popular vote of 140%, including with that of Chuck Norris. But Ukraine had to be stubborn, to the point of shooting down a Malaysia Airlines Boeing 777 thinking he would fly overhead at the same time. 298 dead. Who knows how many more will die untimely deaths due to the stumble in AIDS research.
Ukraine blames Russia for arming the rebels with Buk missiles, which in turn shoot down a perfectly identifiable flying object. But rest assured it's not Moscow -- just plug in to Pravda.
Say what? Korean Air Lines in 1983? Hey, that was the Soviet Union, NOT Russia, you insular, ignorant capitalists! Besides, the Boeing 747 was an 'intruder' into Soviet airspace. All 269 on board dead.
So, can we now just complete the Crimean annexation and move on? Tootin' Putin has already lost precious time in getting a little closer to the pre Glasnost and Perestroika days and the mighty Warsaw Pact, the latter of which would never allow the downing of a civilian…
Say what? 1955. An El Al Lockheed Constellation is shot down by Bulgarian Migs, again for 'intruding' Bulgarian airspace. All 58 on board dead.
Ok, forget the Soviet bloc. NATO is alive and kicking, guardian of the free world, which would never…
Say what? There was a NATO plot to shoot down a jet carrying Muammar Gaddafi? And a poor Itavia DC-9 in 1980 gets caught up in that operation and is presumably shot down by a missile with all 89 on board perishing.
Circling back to Ukraine. It blames the pro-Russian rebels with the Buk. How can Ukraine be blamed? It never…
Look, the 2001 Siberia Airlines incident was a case of a stubborn Ukrainian missile intended for a drone during a military exercise, which refused to unlock from its 'target', the Tupelov TU-154, killing all 76 on board.
USA. Hit while the iron is hot. Slam Russia for starting a conflict, for arming the rebels, for the Buk, for the loss of MH17, for its anti-gay laws, for…
Say what? 1988. The US Navy shoots down an Iran Air passenger jet. All 290 on board die. President Reagan apologises, but Vice President Bush calls Iran irresponsible for allowing a passenger jet with a flight path (way) over a warship 'engaged in battle'. Yes, the USS Vincennes just got armed with a brand new, multi-million dollar Aegis defense shield system. But even Microsoft can tell you that every new, complex system can have bugs. No big deal, like in this case, the Aegis mistaking the radar cross section of an Airbus A300 jumbo jet with that of a relatively mosquito sized, US made (sold to Iran pre-1979) F-14 Tomcat fighter jet of the Iranian Air Force.
So, China. Here's your chance. Hit back at the US for the flak you've been getting. After all you would never…
Say what? You shoot down a Cathay Pacific DC-4 in 1954 thinking it was an attack on your Hainan Island? 10 out of 19 on board die.
And one of the bad boys of the Middle East? Israel. Nah, it's busy in Gaza. Besides, its weapons are state-of-the-art, won't make any mistakes, other than the usual 'collateral damages' of 'just' 700 and counting. It would never…
Say what? 1973: Israeli fighter jets shoot down a Libyan Arab Airlines Boeing 727. 108 out of 113 on board perish. Well, to be fair, the airliner gets lost and ends up in the Sinai Peninsula. Wait. Sinai? It's not the Negev. Concentrate, concentrate. It's been 'only' 6 years since the Six-Day War is over (with a victory) which is still within Israel's de-facto standard of post-war annexation period, applicable to the Sinai Peninsula.
And these are just peacetime 'accidents' with the victim airlines having no relationships with the perpetrators. Let's not even get into the likes of Lockerbie…
They say you get more flowers at death than all those combined that you receive in your lifetime. The 989 who died in these 8 incidents, have been honored further as being pawns of spin doctors. Guys, if you really need to point fingers, how about take those pointing fingers and sticking them in where the conscience is leaking.
Meantime, if we choose to spend trillions on armaments as opposed to feeding hungry children, at least, let's make those weapons smart enough to identify a friend from a (true) foe. Till then, the average flying Joe, Jamal, Josef, Jasprit, … are merely expendable statistics.
The writer is an engineer & CEO turned comedian (by choice), the host of NTV's The Naveed Mahbub Show and the founder of Naveed's Comedy Club. E-mail: [email protected]
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