ARIES

Great men have tried and failed, are you good enough to make every my dreams come true?



TAURUS

Underneath the bus you will get on today, a dog had fun last night.



GEMINI

Atlas carries the world on his shoulder; his girlfriend is mad, nobody told her. 



CANCER

Rolling on the floor laughing might annoy others, don't do it. 



LEO

Astrophysicists could make up stories and publish them as science and we could never call them out. 



VIRGO

Noel Gallagher's hairdo and your relationship with parents has one thing in common. The brother does it better.



LIBRA

You will be left behind just like your political ideologies.



SCORPIO

Eucalyptus is a tree, nothing in life is free.



SAGITTARIUS

Elephants are endangered species. I guess the environmentalists don't know your family. 



CAPRICORN

Ninjas and Samurais are real, so are your greatest nightmares. 



AQUARIUS

A Bangladeshi, an Indian and a Pakistani walk into an online conversation on cricket, literally everyone leaves.



PISCES

Internationally recognised as a party pad, my house is open for you.