• Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Facebook Groups that Should Not Exist

Talat Ahmed
“Hug me, fair Corolla”, Photo: Ehsanur Raza Ronny
“Hug me, fair Corolla”, Photo: Ehsanur Raza Ronny

Facebook groups and pages are dime a dozen. Some are good with solid causes and reasons behind their formation. Others... aren't. There are times when a group or page simply shouldn't be made.
 

CROW LOVERS SOCIETY
I don't see how someone could possibly like, let alone “love”, crows. The members of this group would be the kind of people you wouldn't want to mess with. Death Metalheads uploading photos of their crows and calling them names like “Harbinger of Darkness”, or “Cthulhu Corpsefeaster” quoting Edgar Allen Poe poems as captions to photos of a crow digging through trash. On the other hand, there might be Game of Thrones fans that are now raising crows for their Jon Snow and Men of the Night's Watch cosplays for next year's Comic Con.
THE TOYOTA COROLLA CLUB BANGLADESH
No, because nearly everyone and their dog owns a Corolla. It'll be like feasting on daalpuri every damn meal, scrolling through this page. The same car, over and over and over again. And most of them would be white too. Basically, the cars will be classified into three groups: the older models, the newer models, and the ones that are made to look “tricked-out” with the use of “NOS” stickers on the side. (And the occasional spoiler too of course.)
NEW JAPAN PRO WRESTLING FANS OF BANGLADESH
Yeah, no. I am scared at the thought of what Japanese professional wrestling fans in Bangladesh would be like after seeing the enthusiasm of Japanese anime fans here. With hipsters of the professional wrestling world, this group would be filled with manga-style fan art of wrestlers and Japanese nicknames. Heck, I'm sure some of the wrestling moves are named after attacks in anime. I bet someone out there calls their finishing powerbomb a “Spirit Bomb”.
 

LUDU LOVERS
The country's favourite board game should deserve a group in its honour, you might think. But it would be pretty pointless. It's a game entirely based on chance. The only thing that this could do is post different prayers to say before you roll the dice. “Please, please, please, please, please be a 5. Please, please, please. I'll give you a new coat of paint. Please.”
RICE ADMIRERS ASSOCIATION
There are a lot of people who are incredibly picky about the kind of rice they eat. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them collect rare grains of rice that no one has ever heard of. Then they create hybrid versions from two different kinds of grains. Maybe even plant and grow their own.
Rice purists in the group will post hate messages regarding daal. There will be a White Rice Supremacist sect that will hate on khichuri for desecrating the purity of the glorious grain.
SEVERUS SNAPE LOOK-A-LIKE SOCIETY
Where only people that look like Severus Snape can join. Problem is, you're never gonna find another living soul that looks like Severus Snape. That will always be a stumbling block. Always.

Published: 12:00 am Sunday, February 02, 2014

Last modified: 1:34 pm Saturday, February 01, 2014

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