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     Volume 5 Issue 91 | April 21, 2006 |

   Cover Story
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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am an unfortunate who has failed in the SSC three times. My registration is now inactive. Now, I have become a burden to my family. Although my family is not very supportive they have encouraged me to study again. But I have lost all my energy to study. I am annoyed with education and I cannot make them understand my impatience. I am the eldest of four children. Although my parents do not blame me directly I can understand their negative body language. Without their knowledge I have been looking for work but in vain. Now that they realise that I am unable to add anything to our family I regularly get berated. As days go by I am becoming more unbearable to them. I had some friends but they have already left me for my present position. Every morning I go out and come back at night to escape from getting blamed by my family. I find no comfort in myself nor can I decide what I should do. Please give me some advice.

Dear Unfortunate,
This is a very difficult situation but you have to make the effort to get out of it. The first thing you should do is work hard and sit for your SSC exams. I realise having failed three times this will not be easy. However, there is no other alternative. You will never get a decent job without this basic qualification. Your parents are as frustrated, therefore do not blame them for their behaviour. You can try and reassure them that if given a chance you will succeed this time. You must tell yourself repeatedly that you will be able to do it. Remember, if a person wants there is nothing in the world that he cannot do.

Dear Mita,
I am a 19-year-old girl. I am best friends with a girl who has basically everything. She is tall, beautiful, does very well at school, extremely talented and makes friends with other people very easily with her wit and intelligence. We have been friends since we were eight years old and although I know this feeling is wrong but I am extremely jealous of her. I am always overshadowed by her. She has guys running after her all the time, in fact they come to me for her phone number and advice on how to approach her! I am sick and tired of feeling bad about myself but I am just not the kind of personality to match up to her. I feel like such a worthless person. Please tell me how I can get out of this rut.
Storm in a teacup

Dear Storm,
First let me tell you that you are not the only person in the world with such a problem. A certain amount of jealousy towards an over-performing friend is not uncommon. However, you should turn this situation into something positive and not brood about it. First analyse your strong points and build on those. Forget about what she is good at. Concentrate on what you are better at. It does not have to be competitive but rather complementary. Select something that you can do and excel. This could be studies, music or any other hobby.
You are only 19, the world is out there for you, don't waste it on such unimportant things.

Dear Mita,
I am 21 years of age. Recently I fell in love with a girl. But after some days I found out that she is already engaged to someone else. I know it is not possible to have an affair with her. But I can't console myself. She knows me as a good friend. Whenever I talk to her my heart leaps with joy. I am always eager to see her lovely face, to listen her pleasant voice. It's so tough to spend a single day without talking to her. I can't concentrate on my studies. Her beautiful face always floats before my eyes. Please advice me what I should do in this complicated situation. Please give me a positive answer.

Dear MM,
I do not know what you mean by "a positive answer" but in this situation I will have to ask you to forget about this girl. She is engaged out of her own free will. Perhaps she loves the person she is engaged to. What possible gain is there to pursue something that has no chance of succeeding? You are more infatuated by her looks then anything else. Her beautiful face will float before your eyes if you allow it to. Shut your mind to it and concentrate on other things. You will only get over it if you want to and believe me that is the best thing to do at present.



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