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     Volume 4 Issue 32 | February 4, 2005 |

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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am suffering from a strange problem. I am always jealous of my friends. I know it's quite normal to have a little bit of jealousy among friends. But I think my jealousy and selfishness has reached an extreme level. For instance, one of my friends bought a cell phone what was more expensive than mine. I became jealous and got a new, even more expensive cell because I had begun to envy him so much that it began to affect my friendship with him. But he is my best friend. There have been many other such instances. I'm beginning to worry because if I continue like this, I won't be able to have any good relationships, with friend or family. Please help me.

Dear Frustrated,
You are absolutely right. If you continue in this way then you will not have any friends left. There is no scope for such jealousy in friendships. A little competition is healthy but should not take the form of jealousy. Please address this problem, talk to a close friend about it and work on it consciously. Think about the values of generosity, of forgiveness and unselfishness. Believe me, there is more satisfaction in giving than taking. However, since you have identified the problem, I am sure you will find a solution to it.

Dear Mita,
I'm 19. I met a girl a few months ago at a coaching centre. I have a huge crush on her. Maybe this is love, I don't know. But whatever she does fills my heart with great and unexplainable joy. I'm completely falling for this girl. But in doing so, I always fear the thought of rejection. I'm feeling insecure for the first time in my life. I'm finding it difficult even to speak to her. Is something wrong with me? I'm free with every other girl in my batch, but whenever I try to talk to her, I just act clueless. Am I being paranoid? I can't concentrate on anything. What should I do?
Confused SM

Dear Confused,
It is not very unusual to feel flustered in the presence of someone you are falling for. Actually you are trying too hard to impress her which is leading to your behaving in an unusual manner. I don't think that you are being paranoid at all. You are experiencing new feelings and emotions which are difficult to understand. This is normal so don't worry about it.


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