<%-- Page Title--%> Write to Mita <%-- End Page Title--%>

<%-- Volume Number --%> Vol 1 Num 133 <%-- End Volume Number --%>

December 12, 2003

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Dear Mita,
I am a student of LBA University (London Business Academic). When I was in class XII I, fell in love with a girl who is 3 months senior to me. Although that was a great problem for me I told her that I loved her. She wanted 20 days in order to make a decision. After 20 days she agreed to my proposal. When I passed HSC my problems increased. I am passing a critical juncture of my life because I have to leave my country within a month. According to my father, I have to complete BBA and MBA. I think I will lose her love if I leave her now. You know 'love is made in heaven' and I do not want to lose her. What should I do? Should I elope with her?

Dear Lost,
If your love is strong then you should not lose it so easily and moreover, that kind of love is certainly not made in heaven. Eloping is not a solution as both of you are too young to take on the responsibility of marriage. If you have to leave the country for higher studies then so be it. She should continue with her studies and when the right time comes and both of you are still interested then you will get married. You might not like my advice, but at your age this is the only one I can give.

Dear Mita,
I am 16 studying at DC and do not like people smoking around me. Nevertheless I have to suffer this problem almost every day while going to college and returning home by bus because of people who are always on the bus. They seem to be trying to make the bus a gas chamber without any consideration for other passengers. If they are asked to smoke outside the bus or give up the bad habit they behave as if they were approved by the government to carry on this filthy habit. How can I make the man sitting next to me stop smoking without being quarrelsome and starting an argument?

Dear Frustrated,
The best way would be to tell this person politely to stop smoking on the bus. If this does not work then change your seat and sit somewhere far. If that is not possible then you could complain. There is a lot of awareness now about the ill effects of smoking. You might get a lot of support from your fellow passengers. Moreover, everyone who smoke are not necessarily rude people out to spoil your environment. They should be told and I believe most will comply with your request.

Dear Mita,
I recently ended my four-year relationship with the love of my life. He would not give me any guarantee for our future and whenever I brought the issue up, he insisted that I was pressuring him. I am not a young girl anymore and cannot wait for a person who is not willing to give me full commitment and security. I ended our relationship and he acted like it was nothing to him either way. How do I start moving on now that I have left him? How do I get over the hurt caused by his indifference? Am I just a nobody?

Dear Nobody,
Absolutely not, you are somebody and must believe that. You are a person with dignity and pride who has taken the right decision. You have to look ahead and feel blessed that you had the courage to end a relationship which was not going anywhere. You must turn the hurt inside into something positive. Show him and the rest of the world that you took the right decision and that however painful it might be, you will emerge stronger.

Dear Mita,
You always try to solve your readers problems by giving advice. But when you face a problem what do you do? Do you take help writing your problem to anyone?
Worried about you

Dear Worried,
Thank you for the concern. Like everyone else I have problems. However, I am blessed to have a wonderful family who help me out. If ever I have problems where I think professional help will be required I will not hesitate to seek it. There is no shame to ask for help. As human beings and as social animals we all need help at some stage of our lives. Some go to friends, others to family and some like my dear readers come to Mita. Remember, I am here because you all want me to be here. If there was no you there would no Mita.


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