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     Volume 4 Issue 43 | April 22, 2005 |


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Chintito

Fathers of Lesser Children
(Based on borrowed one-liners)

Chintito

This is how a man's life moves. Well, not everyone's; only of those not worth talking about. But we are a nation which has always been enchanted by worthless beings.

Child:
1. Unreasonable facsimile
Adolescence:
1. When a boy goes from a Mickey Mouse watch to a girlie magazine
2. The age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers
Juvenile:
1. A youngster who prefers vice to advice
2. A minor who is a major problem
Bachelor:
1. A man who has faults he is unaware of
2. A rolling stone that gathers no boss
3. A fellow who comes to work every morning from a different direction
4. A man who takes marriage seriously
Engagement:
1. An option on a life sentence
Bridegroom:
1. A man who spends a lot of time on his personal grooming but no one notices
2. A wolf whose whistle got stuck
3. A guy who threw a line to hook someone and ended up walking it
Marriage:
1. An institution in which a man loses his Bachelors degree and a woman gets her Masters
2. An occasion for the respective fathers-in-law to show his richness
3. A committee of two on ways and means with authority to co-opt new members
Husband:
1. A domesticated animal capable of being skinned more than once
2. A bachelor whose luck finally failed him
3. A man who wishes he has as much fun when is out as his wife thinks he does
4. A fellow who expects his wife to be perfect and to understand why he is not
5. A fellow who co-stars at a wedding and from then onwards plays a supporting role
Father:
1. A person forced too endure childbirth without the aid of anaesthetic
2. A person who gives his daughter to another man who is not really good enough, so there will be grandchildren smarter than anybody's
3. A banker provided by nature
Lesser children:
1. A man who constructs hundreds of temporary shacks with a bid to claim a property
2. A man who gets a lawful job with a false university certificate
3. A man who takes no blame after workers are killed in a fire in his factory
4. A man who grabs public land by illegal land-filling
5. A man who goes into hiding after his building collapses killing scores of workers
6. A man who takes the law into his own hand
Father of lesser children:
1. The father who has gone public to protect the interest of his culpable child
2. The father who uses unfair means and contacts to get his son released from police custody even though he knows he is responsible for a crime
3. The father who thought more about the wellbeing of his accountable kith and kin than his country and people, although in public he claims otherwise
4. The father who believes his son can do no wrong
5. The man who has failed to become the father his defended/protected son would truly be proud of

If only the father knew.

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