Young people are too busy with their busy lives to notice other people being busy such as journalists who work hard to bring you news. As a result the journalists are dying out like the wild tigers in the streets of Dhaka. See? As we speak the tigers have already been wiped out from our streets only to be taken over by political party cadres. If you don't do your part then the journos will also be wiped out and all that will be left are the cartoonists. Hmm, that doesn't sound too bad.

Gaseous situation
This news was published on 22nd September, 858 crore taka in gas bills defaulted by government agencies. They must have hidden all that gas somewhere or maybe they are full of it. All we have to do is grab them all and light a match. That way they will be blown to kingdom come and the country will be free of some major bloodsuckers. For this particular blowing up task we could employ Niko, the organization that has been steadily blowing up our gas reserves. We can consider them our detonation experts.

Destroying Bangladesh
Speaking of Niko a report on 21st September stated that it was drilling 7 new gas wells. We are waiting for the fireworks when these blow up too. All this is actually good news for conspiracy theorists who have recently been given a new lease on their worthless lives. Some theories suggest how all the gas wells are being blown accidentally or not because of lack of proper skills. Others suggest it is being done so we run out of it and ask neighboring countries for power.

Our in-house conspiracy theorists suggest a much more believable and sinister plan. Giant intelligent radioactive moles are blowing up the gas reserves so that when there are tons of empty space under the ground they can use those as tunnels. You see, intelligent moles don't like digging, they prefer ready-made stuff. These moles will use the underground passages to enter Bangladesh evading the customs search at the borders and conquer our country. Then they will use us Bangladeshis as lab moles for experiments.

Less work, more play
Recently the government mentioned the introduction of the two day weekend again. Shows how much they care for our comfort and leisure. In fact, conspiracy theorists are theorising that the government may even be planning to take it to the next bold step of turning it from a two day week to a two day work day. We even had a trial version from the 17th till the 25th of September when we enjoyed a string of hartals and public holidays. So much in fact that we ended up having just two working days. It's a pilot run and you are all encouraged to show your appreciation on voting day. It doesn't matter who you vote for because the opposition party will always ensure your extra holidays by calling hartals.

Biman unwillingly improves it's safety record
23 September, BPC (Bangladesh Petroleum Corporation) has decided to stop all supply of oil to Biman because hey have not been paying any money. This is supposed to start October 1. Bangladesh should be called the land of the free as in the fact that everybody want free stuff and never want to pay up. So what's gonna happen to the Biman planes? Well, without oil there will be fewer crash landings and flight delays as there will be no flying.

By Mood Dude and Gokhra

Do it yourself

Making candles

Candle-making is one of those rare activities which produce results that are extremely artistic and yet achieved very simply and cheaply. This article is meant for the increasing population of candles-enthusiasts who would like to use their creativity to make candles of their taste and choice.

Things you will need: Decoration Items (optional):
1. Plain Candles 1.Beads
2. Pastels 2.Ribbons
3. Small saucepan 3.Glass Utensils
4. Small-sized kettle/jug4.Glass Paint
5. Stirrer
6. Tin moulds/ container
of desired shape

Procedure for making basic mould candles
Step 1: The apparatus for melting the wax consists of a saucepan full of water and a steel jug to melt the plain candles in. Once melted the wick must be removed for later use.
Step 2: Chipped pastels of desired colours are added to the molten wax to give it colour. The mixture is stirred. While the colour mixes completely, one end of the wick is attached to the base of the mould in which the wax is to be poured while other end is held in the center with a support
Step 3: The coloured wax is poured into the mould. After an hour, relief holes are poked into the candle and then the rest of the wax poured into the mould. This measure is taken to stop the depression and cracking in the candle.
Step 3: The candle is left overnight. The next morning the candle should slide out with a few pushes. If it doesn't fifteen minutes in the refrigerator should do the trick. The wick must then be cut to size of ¼ inch.

Now that the basics of candle-making have been covered we can move onto the fun part; decorating and personalizing the candles that we make. There are only too many types of candles and in this article I will only be covering the methods that are both simple and are particularly appealing in its aesthetic appearance.

Chunk candles
Step 1: Pour melted, coloured wax onto a small square dish. Wait for it to solidify.
Step 2: Attach the wick to the base of the container.
Step 3: Cut the solid square mass of wax with a knife into squares. Put the squares into the container with the wick.
Step 4: Some more wax is melted at very low temperatures and then poured into the container.
The effect of this simple procedure is rather stunning.

Marbled candles
1. Melt your
2. Pour wax into a small loaf pan to cool.
3. Let the wax form a film.
4. Take a spoon or fork and scrap the sides of the pan and continue to mix your wax until it reaches a watery oatmeal
consistency.
5. Add molten pastels.
6. Pour the mixture into your mold with the wick attached from before.
7. With the mold in your hand, tap the mold onto a hard surface.
9. Let it dry until cool to the touch. Make sure you poke relief holes in the drying process.

Rainbow layers
This is a very simple concept and does not need a detailed description of steps. The thing is you pour one coloured wax up till a certain level and then let it dry for some time. Then you pour a different colour wax to make another layer and continue in this manner.

Go wild….
Other than these specific methods candles can be decorated in any way one pleases using beads and ribbons. The trick is to set down the beads using a pin in the desired pattern while the wax is still slightly wet. Patterns and designs can also be engraved onto the wet wax using an inkless pen.

Precautions
The drawback of this wonderful activity is the mess that wax can make out of mommy's beloved kitchen. And unless you are able to clean out the mess or even better prevent it, your candle-making days will be over before u get the chance to even begin. So it better to take the following precautions:
1. Keep the wax at low temperatures to avoid spitting.
2. Pour slowly to prevent spills
3. Keep a hot towel handy for any spills. The faster wax is wiped off the better.
4. Keep hot water for cleaning up any dishes that are trashed in the process.
The fun part of candle-making is that once you get started the ideas come pouring and you end up making your own designs and styles. Not only are candles the 'in' thing in decoration but if you can manage to be really creative a set of colour co-coordinated candles in a gift basket will make the perfect present for a dear one. So what are you waiting for…
get to work and turn those plain white candles into something more exciting…..

By Aniqa Moinuddin
Note: For suggestions, queries, ideas, mail me at [email protected]

Cool Adda

Place: Back of the classroom

Activity: Doing everything the teacher doesn't want you doing while pretending to be a perfect little angel. This includes talking to friends, playing games, piloting paper airplanes, passing notes, sending SMS's, eating in class etc. The last two activities can be performed successfully by pretending to rummage through your bag. And remember to set you mobile to vibrate when you're in class. You could also have fun with unusual ring tones. Case in point: once a classmate kept on playing a cock's crow ring tone during second period math and the teacher actually thought that there was a rooster crowing at the top of its lungs at 10 o'clock in the morning.

Try to have some idea of the teacher's lecture so you don't get caught unawares when the teacher jumps you with a question.

You might want to take some pre-class preparation. One thing that always works is rubbing the edges of the teacher's table with chalk. Most teachers will lean up against the table while lecturing and hence acquire a nice white line across their behinds. Other stuff includes hiding the chalk and the blackboard eraser. If your class has a really tall blackboard just put the eraser on top of it, sit back and enjoy the show. This is especially fun if your teacher is vertically challenged i.e. short. Volunteer to bring your teacher some chalk and you'll be able to have a nice stroll around school. This gets even better if you can synchronize leaving class with other friends.

Hazards: These will only occur if the teacher catches you or if you get told on by that nosy geek who doesn't know what's good for him/her. You might get off easy with a lecture or detention but you could also end up getting suspended- or worse, expelled. So don't let the pranks get out of hand or repeat pranks too often- teachers will soon start noticing a pattern.

By Verity

The laws of work

If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
Following the rules will not get the job done.
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done, and what you're going to do.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work s/he is supposed to be doing.
If you are good, you will complete all your assigned work. If you're really good, you'll get out of it.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.